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Chapter 15
Her mouth parted softly, and before he could say another word, she hugged him to her tightly, “Yes,God yes, I would love to be your wife.”
Felton’s eyes clenched tightly;what in God’s name have I done?
The soft jasmine scent of her skin was a potent aphrodisiac in his nose, and while he was recoiling at the words he had said, his shock did not stop him from letting his lips skim over the lily-white of her shoulder. His mouth dipped to a bared breast; their blushing tips were still hard and pebbled. Suckling at one tip, he lapped softly on the underside.
Kissing the skin under her collarbone, he said, “I’ve fallen in love with you, Esther. Against all my reservations, I could not stop caring for you, dreaming of you almost every night and hating the mere thought of another man having you, forced me to admit what I knew—I love you.”
Esther brushed a thumb over his cheekbone, “Me too.”
“I know,” Felton replied hoarsely, “and I hate that I was not able to tell it to you last night because I kept telling myself that I did not deserve you, that I was unworthy of a woman like you; that I was jaded, damaged, a shadow of the man I once was and that nothing good would ever come my way. I didn’twantto let myself love you.”
A tear slipped from her eye, “Nothing could be further from the truth, Arthur. You are a wonderful, brave, selfless man who deserves everything, and more than life can offer.”
Felton helped her to sit up and righten her dress, “You truly think so.”
“Iknowso,” Esther replied. “Please try to see yourself as I see you.”
His head bowed, while the war to spill his deepest secrets surged up his throat. It burned him inside that Esther saw him as a good man when he knew he was everything but. But he sucked in a silent breath and lifted his head, giving her a weak smile, “I wish I had your faith.”
“One day, you will,” Esther replied, kindly.
Brushing a kiss over her forehead, Felton gathered her into his arms and shifted them, so he was braced on the divan’s arm, and she lay on his chest. They watched the spectacular firework show silently but with him kissing her temple here and there, until it ended, and the sky went back to dark.
Felton was loath to disturb them from the private little sliver of a world they had created for themselves, but knew he had to get Esther back to London she could get home before her family discovered that she was gone.
“I do not want to move, but we have to get you home,” Felton whispered. “It is getting rather late.”
Esther twisted, and discontent showed on her face, “I know.”
Shifting, he allowed her to stand then followed her, “I must give Lord Portland my thanks for giving me this key.”
Taking her hand, he led them down to the floor and then to where the carriages were parked. Felton knew the time he had to confess was ticking away, but the bravery to do it was not there. They retrieved their coats, and after he helped her into the vehicle, joined her, only to take her on his lap.
As they drove over the bridge and past London Square, Felton buried his head in the crook of her shoulder, heart beating out of rhythm because of fear. He did love Esther, but what will she do after she found about the wicked ruse—and he knew he could not drag the truth out much longer.
The carriage arrived at his home sooner than he had liked, and as the wheels came to a stop, he knew the hour had come. Tightening his hold for a moment, he shifted her from his lap to sit on the seat beside him.
“Esther,” he began. “I have to confess something to you… I am not who you think I am.”
She drew back a little, “Beg your pardon?”
Swallowing tightly, Felton admitted, “My name is not Arthur Morgan; it is Felton Gale. Arthur Morgan was an identity I used because I was hell-bent on getting revenge.”
Esther withdrew her hands from his, while bewilderment covered her face, “Revenge? For what? I don’t even know who you—” then her eyes flew wide. “—G-Gale? As in the Gales of Colborne? Related to Miss Gale? The lady my brother was courting?”
“Yes,” Felton replied, feeling sick to his very core. “The very same. There are some truths to my story; I am a Navy Captain, I have travelled the world, I do have few friends, but the reason I devised this scheme is because when I came home, my sister, Catherine was heartbroken over your brother breaking the courtship—” he raked a hand through his hair and eyes Esther with limited hope. “—and the only way I could have seen to level the score was to break your heart as well; to show His Grace how it felt to destroy one’s life.”
Esther was shrinking away from him, the look of bliss she had only moments ago, now being eaten away with growing horror.
“So what? Y-You were going touseme?Seduceme to show mybrotherhow a broken heart felt?” Esther stammered.
“Yes,” Felton said, “Days after that I decided, I found that my mind was starting to change; that my emotions for you were changing. That I did not want to be a scoundrel or a crook that you would hate. I—” he shook his head, knowing that the next few would not make any sense to utter as he knew Esther had withdrawn from him. “—Do love you, Esther and I beg you, please forgive me.” He lowered his head.
“Please forgive me for playing upon your trust, please forgive me for thinking such an abominable act could right another wrong. Please forgive me for thinking that you were complicit with your brother to step over people and not care who you hurt. Please forgive me for thinking the worst of you when I know now that you are everything but,” he swallowed over the burning chest, “Please forgive me for lies, the deception, all of it.”
His soul was open and raw, and his words were laden with honesty, but Esther was already gone from him. Her defences were up, and she was pulling away, emotionally, and when he reached out, she yanked her hand away from him.
