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“Well then, I would say you have it all figured out. It may not be ideal, but it is all you have to work with. And that is okay.”
Leah nodded to Marianne’s statement. “It is the best way to do things in an impossible situation. The more I think about it, I am proud of you for taking the harder route. Most people would have done the easiest way to avoid pain. You are making your route and that is powerful.”
Powerful. It was not a word that had been associated much with women in town, but Harper loved to hear it. “I sincerely appreciate that, thank you, Leah.” Harper gave a quick look over at Marianne and could not tell what she was thinking. More than likely, she was not thrilled over her choice.
***
Marianne had taken her leave. She held a mix of emotions. It had all just appeared so final. The one aspect of growing up that Marianne had not anticipated was slowly understanding what the future would look like.
When she was younger, anything had been possible. Life was a beautiful blank canvas that could hold any colour or picture. But the more she got older, life felt more finite. Her friend would not marry some wealthy prince, nor would she. Instead, her friend was going to enter into a marriage that was going to have no love in it. The whole situation was the furthest circumstance that they had envisioned together. It felt like her friend was settling, allowing life to dictate how she should live it. How was it better than marrying Michael? Michael would have been a caring husband, someone that would have not only supported her financially, but he would have attempted to love her. Brian, he would attempt nothing of the sort.
As the fresh air hit her, she couldn’t help but wonder why Brian had wavered in his resolve not to marry, and for Harper. The world before her was huge, and Brian knew that too. So why wasn’t he living the life that he had always wanted? Being a bachelor was an identity that he wanted until his deathbed, yet suddenly, he was willing to marry Harper. And for what? To help her? Since when did he want to help anyone but himself? It just didn’t make any sense to Marianne. But, at the same time, it was not her life. That life belonged to her friend. She could only provide advice.
It reminded her of a time when she and Harper had been children.
“Sometimes I don’t get it,” Marianne said while they walked around Harper’s home.
“What don’t you get, Marianne?”
“I don’t get why we are all friends with Brian. After what he did to Connor, I don’t know if there is any good in him. I don’t want someone like that to influence me. We are young and impressionable.”
Harper laughed while watching a bird pick at the dirt. “Don’t you think that you are being a tad bit harsh? What happened with Connor was a joke turned sour. You know how boys are.”
“From what I heard, there was pure malice in Brian’s eyes. That cannot be ignored. Connor is our friend.”
“Connor is our sensitive friend.”
Marianne stopped walking. “Since when are you so supportive of Brian?” She then started walking again.
Harper shrugged. “I have spent some time with Brian, and I don’t know…sometimes I think he is misunderstood. That’s all.”
“You have a really big heart, you know that?”
“I’d like to think so.”
“You will make a good wife one day. That’s another thing, can you picture someone like Brian taking a wife?”
“Marianne, we are young. He has plenty of time to grow out of the actions you deem terrible.”
“I deem?” Marianne almost stopped walking again. “I think that the tears on Connor’s face deemed it so.”
“I think that you put way too much emphasis on the future and need to live in the present for a while. A grudge started young can only grow into something awful.”
“Perhaps.”
When Marianne spotted Connor not too far away, she was snapped out of her memory. She realised that Harper had been right all that time ago, a grudge held onto was not good, and she had been doing that. Brian was always someone that she had been wary of, despite being his friend. She realised that it was probably her lifelong scepticism of him that kept her from being supportive of him when he did do something nice. It was just so contrary to everything that she thought of him.
“You look as though you are in some really deep thought there,” Connor said while walking up to Marianne.
“I am distraught and after what you said to me last time, I am in no mood for you,” she responded, remembering his little out of nowhere lecture, about not getting involved.
Connor sent his attention to the ground and then gave her his eyes. “I am sincerely sorry for that. I don’t have an excuse for my behaviour. All I can say is, like all of us, I was rather stressed over the situation. Leah was upset, Harper was upset, and I don’t know.”
It surprised Marianne to hear an apology. She was more than hurt that day when he lashed out at her. Especially after all the sticking up for him that she had done over the years. It was almost like a betrayal to her. “It’s okay. I am sorry for being short with you just now. I know that you must have heard about the situation with Harper at the ball. And after speaking with her, I am concerned for her future. So, I too am feeling rather stressed right now.”
He looked surprised to hear it. “I don’t think that I’ve ever seen you stressed before. And I don’t think I like it.”
That made her smile. “It’s nice to know that someone cares. I shouldn’t be making Harper’s circumstances about me. But—”
“She is your friend, and you care deeply for her. There is nothing wrong with that Marianne. It is rather admirable. How many people in this world care about their friends that much?”
She remembered back to when she was younger and how much it bothered her to see him cry about the tree incident. But she didn’t mention that, figuring it would only serve to embarrass him. “You have made me feel better. I hope you know that, Connor.”
“I do now.” He smiled.
