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“If I could show you how I see you I wish I could. I hate seeing you doubt yourself and second guess every little thing you do. You shouldn’t base your dreams on what other people say about you. Everything I’ve ever told you was true; your writing is phenomenal, and I truly can’t wait to read your work. But, Ally, my words shouldn’t be the reason you want to write. You should be the reason. If you love doing it, then nothing else should matter. You deserve to be happy after everything, so please don’t look at me like that. I’m sorry I upset you, I didn’t mean for you to take it that way.”
I blink and a single tear rolls down my cheek and he swipe his thumb across my cheek to wipe it away. I look into those sky-blue eyes, and I no longer have control of my body. I feel like I’m floating through the sky, his sky. I see his gaze go down to my lips and back to me eyes and I know he wants to kiss me by the shift of emotion behind his eyes. I reach up and place my hands on top of his hands that are still placed on my cheeks.
“Thank you.”
I don’t understand how this man can be so perfect all the time. Other men would have said I over reacted, but he understood everything I was feeling and didn’t make me feel little for it. I give him the best smile I can do before he comes crashing down on my lips. I close my eyes and enjoy the sensation of his warm lips on mine. The tingling feeling in between my legs intensifies but I ignore it and focus on the heat rises in my cheeks. I’ve wanted to know what this would feel like for so long and as much as I want it to go farther, it can’t. He breaks the kiss first this time and looks at me with apologetic eyes.
“I’m sorry, you said you didn’t want that to happen again, and I-I took advantage of the moment. I’m so sorry.
“It’s okay, I’m sorry for blowing this whole thing out of proportion.” He shakes his head
“Don’t ever apologize for being human and feeling Allison. So, are we good now? Because you shouldn’t be crying on your birthday!” I start laughing and he waits a few moments before joining in.
“You remembered my birthday was today?”
“I remember everything about you.” There it goes again; my heart fills more space with this man. If he keeps saying things like this, I’m going to run out of room.
“What do you want to do?”
“Well, I was just going to stay in, decorate and order some take out. I know it sounds pathetic, but I don’t….”
“It’s not pathetic, do you care for some company?”
He says the latter slower and quieter like he is afraid to offer. I think about his question and know that I should tell him to leave before one of his slips up again and doesn’t have the will power to break it off.Fuck it, it’s my birthday!
“Yeah, I would like that very much.” We both smile and he takes a turn around to take in my place before turning back to me.
“Okay, lead the way. What are we decorating first?”
Chapter Nineteen
Iwake up late in the afternoon and see a missed call from Izzy and a sos text message. I dial Izzy’s number while also making myself breakfast, well I guess it’s technically lunch now that it’s noon.
“Oh my god, took you long enough. I thought you died.” I chuckle.
“It’s Saturday, I’m allowed to sleep in once in a while. What’s so urgent that you called me at seven.”
“Janet.” I stay silent waiting for her to elaborate but she doesn’t.
“Okay, what about her?”
“She is asking about the bachelorette party and when it is. I think she wants to come, but Al…I cannot deal with her for that and then the wedding too.”
I laugh but I know she is freaking out on the inside. Janet and Isabella have a love hate relationship and it’s interesting that Jeremy doesn’t see it. His mother is a perfectionist and tries to steer the wheel whenever she can, of course, her youngest son getting married is the perfect time for her.
“Ilene and I already have the bachelorette party planned and she is not coming so don’t worry. Just tell her you don’t know anything about it, it wouldn’t be a lie.” I hear her sigh and her tone change to a cooler tone.
“Yeah, you’re rights sorry for freaking out. She is just too much sometimes, and she is trying to plan everything for the wedding. It stresses me out more having to deal with her on top of wedding things.”
I smile and wish I was with her right now. It’s only been a week, but it feels longer. Living in her basement was perfect for moments like these.
“It’s okay to freak out a little bit. You’re getting married and it’s a big day for you. I still remember how stressed I was when I married Andrew. But your day will go perfectly, and I can report to you that I will have a plus one.” I say the latter with a chipper voice to show her that I’m still annoyed that she ambushed me like that.
“Do you now? And who would that be?” I smile and shake my head, if she were here, I would playfully punch her.
“Oh, stop it, you know it’s Dexter. Well, I think it’s still him, he offered but our relationship is kind of in a weird state right now.”
“Oh my, please tell me more. Ilene has been filling me in, but she just keeps telling me to tell you to jump in the deep end already.” We both laugh and I decide now is the best time to tell her about the kisses.
