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After they walk into the office, I greet them and tell them that Christian is in his office waiting for them. Both the kids smile and run towards his office, Serena says thank you and follows after them.
I check the time and see that it's one on the dot. I get out of my chair at my desk and head toward Christian’s office and knock on the door. In his deep voice, he tells me to come in.
“I just wanted to let you know that I'm heading out to lunch.”
“Okay, see you in an hour, but Allison you don't need totell me every time you're headed for lunch. I trust that you won't fudge your time.” My cheeks turn red for a moment with embarrassment.
“I know, I just like to let you know just in case you need anything before I leave.” He smiles and turns toward Serena.
“See, this is why I keep Allison around. Good worker and considerate.”
We all chuckle a little and then I smile and slowly turn and make my way out of his office. I feel guilty sometimes when he talks so highly of me to others. He doesn't know that I've applied for school in a whole different state and potentially might be leaving him soon.
I make my way down the two blocks to Starbucks and grab myself another coffee and a ham and Swiss panini. I find a seat closest to the window and take my phone out. I see the email icon on the top of my screen and move my finger from the top of my phone to make the drop-down feature work. I click on the new email which I can see is from Old Navy advertising their fifty percent off sale.
I quickly delete that email and see that I have two other new emails as well. The next one is garbage too but the last one catches my eye. It's from the admissions office at John Hopkins and I go to click on the email, but my finger lingers over my screen. I hesitate to open the email for the fear of what is on the other side. I know it’s the letter letting me know whether I got in but what if it’s a rejection letter and my dream comes crashing down like a pile of bricks? I’m not sure I have the strength to read a rejection letter after being rejected by my family and Andrew. I think that is the reason I am so reserved about telling anyone else about my dream. I still remember the day I mentioned it to Andrew over dinner one night.
???
Another late night at the office was becoming the new normal. I waited until he got home to make dinner so we could eat together. I could tell he had a stressful day with the vibe he was giving off when he stepped through the front door. I was setting the table when he came up behind me and gave me a quick peck on my cheek before taking his seat.
I asked him how his day was and that was probably the wrong question to start our conversation with. He sighed and started to tell me how his day was. I always got a little annoyed that he would complain about his job since it was served to him on a silver plate. Andrew's father had built a company from the ground up and told Andrew that he would have a job there once he finished college. Even though I would hate working there. I never understood their line of work, I don't know why people with millions of dollars would trust someone with their money. His dad's company invests people's money in other things like stocks, I guess.
Andrew has tried to explain it to me a hundred times, but I still don't get how they get paid. We both did what our parents wanted us to do and that was another reason we connected when we got to know each other. My parents wanted me to get a job that paid well because money is everything. Andrew's father was the same way, the only difference was that my family was more of a blue-collar family, and he was all suits in offices.
When he was done telling me about his day, I told him I needed to talk to him about something. He stopped chewing his steak and looked straight at me with an expression of annoyance.
"Please tell me it's nothing bad. I don't think I can handle anything else going south today."
I gulp because I'm bracing myself for this conversation. I know it's not a big deal and he will understand where I'm coming from. It was just last week that I told him about the baby and I'm hoping the lingering joy will lighten the conversation. I never told Andrew about my true passion to become a writer. He knows that I love to write, but he took it as a hobby, and it is so much morethan that to me.
"I've been thinking about law school... and I think I want to go for something else."
I close my eyes for a second and then open one eye to assess his reaction. I know he is going to think I went crazy since I’ve already started law school, and everything is going according to plan. Well, going according to my mother’s plan. He doesn't look mad, but I can tell he wants more of the conversation before he answers.
"I've been thinking about the baby and how we should show her that we are truly happy with our career choice." I always call the baby her even though we won't know what we are having for quite some time. It just feels right that the baby is a girl. I see his eyebrow raise and that's when he finally replies.
"You don't want to be a lawyer anymore? I thought that was the plan this whole time?"
"It was, I mean…I thought that was what I wanted but I want to pursue my true dream of becoming a writer." A sigh of relief comes off my shoulders as I tell him what I want.
"A writer? Like an author?" I can see that he thinks I'm joking but I am a hundred percent honest with him.
"I've wanted to write a novel for some time, but I got wrapped up in school." I thought the conversation wasgoing perfectly until he replied.
"Honey, there is no money in writing, and if we are being honest here. You need to be good at writing to have your things published."
He doesn't seem phased at all that he just shattered me into a million pieces. I don't see how he can talk about my writing when he hasn't read anything, I have written the whole time we have been together.
"We need to have money if you want to have all these kids and this extravagant house my love."
He does this whenever he senses a disagreement. He brings up kids because it's my weak spot and I usually back down because he is right.
"I never wanted this." I flick my hands around gesturing to our overly huge house that Andrew insisted on buying.
"I only wanted you, all I need is you and me and to have a happy life. For her!" I point to my stomach and then cross my arms to wait for his reply. He looks slightly down and then the side of his lip slightly moves up into a small smirk.
"Listen to me, I want you to be happy and I would hope you are since we have been married for two years...I was just speaking the truth.You want me to be honest with you don’t you Allison?"
