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Chapter 29
Ana
My entire world is a haze.
Like a swarm of efficient cleaner bots descending out of nowhere, dozens of staff members are currently packing the items of my room into expensive-looking suitcases that aren’t mine, putting clothes and shoes and gadgets into bags that I’m not going to touch, and I’m just standing here, watching them like an idiot.
When Vahadr left his room and didn’t return, I’d put my clothes shakily back on and searched for him, but he was nowhere to be found. I tried calling him but he didn’t answer. I’d been halfway through typing out a message before I had to stop in the middle of the hallway and break down into tears for several long minutes.
I’m clutching my bag to my chest now—a small, simple leather black backpack which only just fits my old laptop, wallet, and the few other belongings which are actually mine in this house—and I’m just staring, not knowing what to do, not even fully comprehending what’s happening.
I can still feel him inside me.
Before I know it, one of the butlers is nudging me out, herding me gently into the garage, pressing the keys of an auto-craft into my hands while others load bags upon bags into the boot. Just like he’d first swept me along and into his life, Vahadr is now sweeping me back out in an inevitable push, uncaring and unstoppable. Only this time I don’t have the energy to argue and fight.
I need to think. I need to just think.
I feel like I’m in shock and my brain isn’t functioning properly, but this all seems so wrong, so avoidable, so stupid. If I just had a second to think about it, to process what’s going on, I could—
“Miss Martin,” the butler says in a quiet, professional tone, and tries again to press the keys into my limp fingers. “It’s time to go.”
I push the keys back. “No. That’s not my transporter, those aren’t…”
I turn abruptly away and head back the way I came, taking the elevator up to ground floor and hurrying out the huge front doors to get some air into my suddenly constricting lungs.
This is stupid. Everything was so perfect just a few hours ago, I don’t understand…
The sun has almost entirely dipped below the horizon, and the two pale moons are already beginning to rise to replace its glow in the darkening sky.
As I stare at the huge stone fountain serving as a traffic circle on the white graveled road leading to the house, I burst into tears.
“Miss Martin…” The butler is at my side again, holding the keys towards me once more. “Please, I’ve been instructed that you should take all your belongings with you.”
“I am,” I snap with a sudden anger, and I swing my backpack over my shoulders and begin walking towards the property’s gates about a half mile away.
Fine. He doesn’t want me? Fine. What did I expect, anyway?
My designer boots crunch over the gravel, lined with fur and warm against the quickly dipping chill of the night, and when the butler hurries to catch up to me I send him a glare, suck in a sob, and practically screech at him, “I won’t take it!”
He twitches back and looks at me as if he doesn’t know what to do, and I continue along the path on my own.
I’d been about to tell Vahadr that I love him. The words had almost slipped out of me and I hadn’t even realized it, I hadn’t known until the moment when I’d been about to say it that it was true. And he said he loved me back, didn’t he? He said something about a true mating bond.
My throat is constricted so tight I can’t get enough air, and every time I breath it comes out ragged. When my snap begins to vibrate with a call, I slap it in answer and glare heatedly at the descending holo-screen. I wipe angrily at the tear tracks on my cheek as Vahadr appears calm and collected before me, a sleeping Asili held carefully against his chest.
“You will take your belongings with you.”
“No!” I shout as more tears instantly replace the ones I’d wiped. “Screw you, Vahadr, and screw your stupid resources.” I’m struggling to get enough air in my lungs as I talk through my sobs. “I’m taking what’s mine and I’m leaving! Isn’t that enough for you? Isn’t that what you wanted?”
His eyes flick briefly downwards but he shows no other reaction as he walks through his halls, and I put both my palms over my face and let out a loud sob before I can get myself back together.
“You will take the hover-car,” he continues calmly once I’m done. “There is a tracker in there which will allow my security team to—”
“Shut up!” I stop in my tracks and stare at him, my hands balled into fists at my side. “All you do is tell me what to do—how I’m going to study, where I’m going to work and live, what I’ll wear and eat and say and do and just shut. Up. You’ve told me to go, and I’m going. You fucked me and then you kicked me out and I’m going, so just shut up.”
He takes a sharp breath in, and the hand resting flat across Asili’s back twitches. But his face remains blank.
“You’re paranoid and suspicious and you don’t ever let me explain myself or listen and I hate you.” I rake my fingers through my hair and begin to walk across the gravel once more. “I hate you.” But I whisper it the second time, and I think we both know that I don’t mean it.
