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Katie’s breath seemed locked in her lungs. She wanted to fill the awful silence, but she had no idea what to say.
Beth swallowed. A tear trickled down her cheek.
“Say something,” Katie begged. She desperately needed the truth, whatever it was. “What are you thinking?”
“That I don’t deserve this.” The words were as broken as the woman they spilled out of. “That I don’t deserveyou.”
Katie gulped in a breath. Her own eyes stung. They stared at each other, the moment drawing out between them.
“I knew who you were, Katie. I knew why you came to that meeting.”
Katie reared back.
“And I’m sorry for the deception. But I didn’t want to rush you into something you weren’t ready for. And yet I couldn’t resist getting to know you—and I really was afraid you’d inherited my genetic tendency for addiction.”
“How did you know?” Katie squeezed out.
“After I got sober I found you on Facebook. You’d changed your last name, of course, but I took one look at your face, and I saw myself twenty years ago—before I’d made a terrible mess ofmy life. So when you showed up at the meeting, I knew who you were.”
Katie thought back to those first words they’d exchanged. “You must have the best poker face on the planet.”
“I was so afraid I’d scare you away. So hopeful that you’d come to Riverbend searching for me. That you were somehow willing to give me another chance.”
Might as well lay it all on the line. “That’s exactly why I came.”
A fresh batch of tears appeared in Beth’s eyes. “Katie, I’m so terribly sorry for the hurt I’ve caused you. I chose drugs over my children, and as a result you lost your mother. Your childhood was filled with uncertainty because of me, and I regret that with all my heart. I wouldn’t blame you for keeping your distance. I would respect that, if that’s what you want.”
Katie’s eyes stung with tears. “Thank you. But I forgave you a long time ago and I’d like to get to know you better... If that’s something you’d be interested in.”
“I want that more than anything in the world. But how can you not hate me for what I did? How can you even want to know me now?”
“I was angry with you for a long time. And when Spencer died—” She bit her lip. Did her mother even know she’d lost her son?
“It’s okay. I learned about Spencer on Facebook. When he passed I was devastated, and I wanted so badly to contact you. I knew you were hurting, too, but I was afraid my appearance would only make things harder for you.”
Katie thought back to that time. She’d been neck-deep in grief. Her mother might be right.
Katie gave her head a shake. She couldn’t absorb all of this. Beth had known whom she was communicating with all along. Katie thought of all their time together since she’d come to town. The coffee shop, the Trail Days meetings, the numerous texts.
But then that rumor about Cooper and her had spread through town. And when Katie dropped out of Trail Days, Beth abruptly fell out of her life. “Why haven’t you contacted me since the rumor spread through town? Are you ashamed of me?”
“Ashamed? Of course not. Why would I be ashamed?”
“Those rumors didn’t exactly cast me in the best light—and they were partially true.”
“Katie, after what I did to you and Spencer, that was nothing. All you did was follow your heart.”
“I came between brothers—two men I cared deeply about. There’s nothing admirable about that. I thought when you saw what kind of person I’d turned out to be, you didn’t want anything to do with me.”
“Oh, Katie. I could never feel that way about you. If anyone understands the need for grace, it’s someone who’s been on the receiving end of it more times than she can count. I didn’t contact you because of that last text you sent. I thought you were breaking ties with me. I thought you’d decided you didn’t want a relationship with me. That grieved me terribly, but I didn’t feel I had the right to push.”
Katie’s vision went blurry again, and she expelled a puff of laughter. She’d been so hurt at what she thought was a dismissal. She regarded her mother with a solemn expression. “I have a lot of questions about what happened when I was a kid.”
“I’ll tell you anything you want to know. But let’s start with this, Katelyn Elizabeth Loveland: I love you more than I can possibly express. And I want nothing more than an opportunity to prove that to you.”
45
Despite the hubbub in the campaign office, Cooper couldn’t take his eyes off the large TV screen as the local election results trickled in. It was going on ten o’clock, and he and Sean were neck and neck with 82 percent of the precincts reporting.
