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“He was lucky to have a big sister like you. You were all each other had. Losing him must’ve been hard.”
“Still is. Looking out for him had become my life.” Her throat thickened, making her laugh wobble. “About the time he turned eighteen, he started getting pretty annoyed by that.”
“You’d probably become like a parent to him.”
“I was. And when he balked at that, I had to loosen the apron strings. Balance out the relationship a little.”
“Become his sister.”
“That was hard, though, because of his health issues. At times he needed me even if he didn’t want to. He was always trying to do too much, and I was forever holding him back.”
“I’ll bet you were a great sister.”
She needed something from him in that moment. She didn’t know what it was until she soaked in the certainty in those deep brown eyes. He believed what he’d said. And maybe he was right.
The knowledge loosened the knot in Katie’s throat. “Thanks.I feel bad that I sometimes tuned him out—he used to go on and on about certain things.”
“Like what?”
“Music, nature, hummingbirds...”
“Hummingbirds?”
“He loved them, was fascinated by them. I could sit here and bore you with all the tedious facts I learned over the years. When he was twelve he asked James and Jill for a hummingbird feeder for his birthday. He loved that thing. Kept it filled with sugar water and sat inside by the window, watching the birds whenever they came. Their hearts can beat twelve hundred times a minute. Did you know that?”
“Really?”
“Maybe that’s why he admired them so much. They have strong hearts.”
Cooper nodded. “Makes sense.”
She considered telling him the rest. He was such a good listener, it was impossible not to. “Since he died, hummingbirds have been kind of a thing with me. My first day back to work after his death, a patient of mine, a twelve-year-old girl, found out my brother had died, and she drew me a picture. It was a hummingbird—she knew nothing about Spencer.”
“That’s really cool.”
“They’ve shown up a few times since he passed. Just when I need him most, there’s a hummingbird.” She stared at the ground a few seconds. “Silly, I know.”
“Not silly at all. My grandpa and I used to play Monopoly, and he always chose the top hat. At his funeral, after everyone had left, there was a top hat on one of the chairs. Everyone thought someone left it, but no one remembered anyone wearing one. I was sure my grandpa had put it there.”
They shared a smile—no words required. He understood and that was so comforting.
They ate in quiet for a moment. She was all talked out.
“Listen to that,” he said a few minutes later.
Katie stopped eating and listened. A beam of sunlight split through the treetops, dappling the forest floor. “It stopped raining.”
He crumpled up his wrapper and slipped it into his trash bag. “Whenever you’re ready...”
“I’m ready.” She bagged her trash, emerged from the enclave, and shouldered her backpack. She was ready. Ready to reach Max Patch, where she could finally lay her beloved brother to rest.
By the time they reached Walnut Mountain shelter late in the afternoon, Katie’s legs were trembling. They’d been in no rush, stopping to wade in a stream along the way after they refilled their water bottles. They took a couple of selfies by the creek and one on a peak with the mountains in the distance. They took rests in the shade and carried on conversations that made her oblivious to the miles they covered.
Her legs noticed though. She had stamina but she was used to jogging on flat terrain. Her calves and hips and quads weren’t used to climbing mountains.
After a quick visit to the privy, she wasted no time slipping off her pack and sinking onto the picnic table. Her back muscles released painfully. “Yikes. I thought I was in shape.”
“We’ve been hiking for hours. You did great.”
