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Heartache.What a stupid word. The heart was the center of the circulatory system, pumping blood throughout the body. The organ had nothing to do with love or feelings. And yet she couldn’t deny that spot where it resided in her chest ached every time she thought of Wes.
Lisa pulled the drain and the soapy water gurgled down the pipes. “Let’s go see who’s winning.”
Avery dried the last of the silverware and followed Lisa outside. But what she really wanted to do was retreat to her apartment and lose herself in a tub of chocolate fudge brownie ice cream.
“Good job, honey!” Katie called to Cooper when he sank his second sandbag in a row.
The brothers were playing Dad and Lisa, and it was a tight game.
Katie had joined Avery at the picnic table. They’d mostly been talking about wedding plans and all the trails she and Cooper planned to hike when they went to Gatlinburg for their honeymoon. Personally, Avery thought they might find betterthings to do. But being Cooper’s sister, she didn’t want to think about, much less talk about, that subject.
She couldn’t help but think of Wes, though, and that scorching kiss they’d exchanged the night of the emergency birth. The gentle way he’d touched her face, the commanding way he had with his lips. They’d both lost control that night.
Well, if it had to be your last kiss, at least it was smoking hot.
The wry thought did nothing to ease the ache in her chest. Or the longing for another kiss just like it. How long would it take her to heal from this loss? Her only real experience with heartbreak had been with Sam, and she’d moved on from him in a matter of weeks, throwing herself into academics. It had been thirty-three days since she’d last seen Wes, and not an hour passed that she didn’t think of him.
She was even having trouble losing herself in books. Several days ago she’d finally finishedPersuasion—the last in her marathon. She wasn’t sure if it was the book’s melancholy mood or the romantic narrative, but it had taken her three weeks to get through it, and she hadn’t picked up another book since.
Katie touched her hand. “Avery...?”
She’d obviously missed something. “Sorry, what? You caught me daydreaming.”
“I was just asking how you’re doing with everything. You’ve seemed a little distracted lately, and I know you must have a lot on your mind.”
Avery gave a strained smile. One more time. “I’m fine. The heat just makes me irritable, that’s all. I’ll be glad for fall.” For good measure she swept her hair from her neck.
“I know you must miss him. The two of you seemed to have gotten pretty close.”
“Who?”
Katie tilted her head and gave Avery aReally?look.
“All right, fine. I miss him. There. Happy?”
“Not really. I care about you and you’re obviously hurting. You can talk to me about it, you know. And just because I’m about to marry your brother doesn’t mean I’ll go blab everything to him.”
“It’s not that. It’s just—why talk about it at all? He’s gone and obviously he’s moved on. I’m trying to do the same.”
“Love really isn’t that tidy, hon.”
“Who said I—” Avery blinked. Who was she kidding? If she didn’t love Wes, she wouldn’t still be aching over his departure like this. Or checking her phone compulsively. Or torturing herself with thoughts of him andLillian.How could she hold such dislike for someone she’d never even met?
“Have you talked to him since he left?”
“Just once. He let me know when he finished the trail.” And only because he’d promised he would. There was that honor coming through once again.
“Maybe you should reach out to him. Let him know how you feel.”
“There’s someone else in his life, remember?”
“Are you sure about that? I saw the way he looked at you.”
Avery shook her head. “I think they have some kind of special bond. He seems devoted to her, and I can’t really compete with that. Anyway... I already made a decision about my future, and I plan to stick with it.”
Katie studied her for moment. “Decisions can always be unmade, you know.”
“Just because theycandoesn’t mean they should.” Whywould she put someone she loved through, at best, an uncertain future and, at worse, a lingering, progressive illness that robbed her of dignity and life?
