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Her brows shot up.
But he corrected himself. “Eager to speak with you.”
“About?”
“I want…” He drew in a deep breath. “I want you to be my wife, Clara.”
Her lips parted as she stared at him. A year ago, two, she would have skipped in a happy haze at those words passing his lips. But now…
And as she replayed them, she realized something was wrong. They weren’t the declaration she’d waited so long to hear. Yes, he’d just asked for her hand, but what about her heart? “Do you really?”
He blinked several times. “I just asked, didn’t I?”
“Aslin,” she said, using his former name. She’d loved this man once, and she’d acknowledge that now. But her next words were very much about the future and not the past. “We both know you don’t love me. You never have.” The truth of those words settled over her. He’d never loved her. Not the way she once had him. He’d never been willing to sacrifice for her, when at one time, she’d have given everything to him.
“Love?” he asked, frowning. “I think I could.”
Those words made it even worse. “You would have already, if you were going to.”
He shook his head. “You’ll help me be the best earl I can be. No one else can fill that role the way you can. You’re so giving and intelligent. Don’t think I don’t know that. He knew it too…”
“Who?”
“My father,” and then Kinross’s voice broke. “He knew you were the woman I should marry, and the fact that I didn’t ask you was one more way in which I never measured up.”
Suddenly, she understood. This was about his regret over his father’s death and the bad blood between them. He thought in choosing her, he’d make it right, somehow. “Oh, Aslin,” she whispered, her hand reaching up to touch his shoulder. “Don’t let him eat you alive now. If you’ve been one thing all this time, it’s your own man. That is what you should lean into as you become an earl. Not me.”
His eyes widened in surprise and then narrowed again as he studied her face. “I lied. I love you now, Clara. I didn’t when you were just a girl, but he was right: I was a fool. You are the one person who knows exactly what to say to ease my fears, bolster my strength. What more could I ask for?”
It was Clara’s turn to blink in surprise. Did he really mean that? “You do not love me. You just want me by your side to help you through this difficult time, but honestly, I’m here for you without a proposal.”
He shook his head. “I know that. And it’s precisely why we should wed. Who else will ever be there for me the way you have been?”
Her lips parted. Didn’t he understand that at one and twenty, she was a woman? And she now knew that it took two people giving to one another to make a successful match. She took a slow step back. “I saw another woman at the table tonight. She looked at you…” The way I used to look at you.
He frowned, his head dipping. “Sarah?”
She nodded. “Who is she?”
He shuddered. “She’s all wrong for the title.”
“Is she right for you?” Clara asked, her hand brushing his sleeve. “Ask yourself that question before you propose to anyone else.”
Kinross’s eyes met hers. “Oh, Clara,” he sighed. “When precisely did you gain the upper hand?”
Her gaze drifted across the room. Ralph was staring at them, his jaw granite-hard, his arms crossed. She didn’t tell Kinross but she knew the exact moment.
When she’d fallen in love with Ralph Fitzroy.
Each beat of his heart felt like an anvil pounding in his chest.
Clara had touched the Earl of Kinross three times. He’d been counting. It only meant one thing…the conversation between them was incredibly intimate.
Was Kinross declaring his feelings?
Of course he was.
He’d all but done the deed at dinner.
