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A grunt of acknowledgment was all I got. Was it messed up that I wanted him to yell at me and call me a dumbass?
Finally, he said, “Well, everything turned out fine. That’s what we’re here for. We took care of it.”
That statement hit my gut worse than being called a dumbass. I’d rather he yelled or called me names than imply I once again dropped the ball.
My hands gripped the steering wheel as I tried to control my bubbling frustration. But I lost that fight and snapped.
“They’re not your responsibility; they’re mine. I should have been there!” I all but bellowed.
My eruption was met with silence and some rustling before what sounded like whispering. Great, he was probably trying to get Mom to deal with my emotional outburst since that had never been in Dad’s wheelhouse.
“I’ll be there in thirty,” I mumbled before ending the call.
The voice mail notification caught my eye. Pressing play, I instantly felt calmer when Bella’s voice hit my ears. She briefly explained what happened and why, telling me not to worry.
Right.
Less than thirty minutes later, I sat in my truck with my head resting on the steering wheel. I needed to walk into the house composed, with my act together and ready to take care of both Bella and Brendan. Whatevertheyneeded. Taking a deep breath, I exited the truck and went inside.
However, Bella was still napping with Brendan. I had to spend the next half hour listening to my parents ramble about useless shit before I could finally lay eyes on her.
As soon as she descended the stairs with Brendan in her arms, I wrapped them both tightly in my embrace. Just holding them slowed my racing heart.
“I’m so sorry I wasn’t here, Bella. I didn’t have a signal. Then when I saw your text, I tried calling and—”
“Rhett,” she mumbled against my chest.
I pulled back to look down at her. My stomach lodged in my throat. Was she going to yell at me? Tell me I should have done something differently? I knew Brendan was sick when I left this morning. Maybe I shouldn’t have gone at all.
“Mama,” Brendan said as he rubbed his sleepy eyes.
“Rhett, I—”
“Mama, I hungy,” Brendan whined.
Bella’s eyes closed for a moment, and when they opened again, she placed a kiss on top of Brendan’s head. “I know, baby.” She pulled out of my arms. “I need to get him something to eat. But it’s fine, Rhett. I get it. Sorry I missed your call while we were napping. I’m just happy you’re here now.”
After her lips met mine in a chaste, feathery brush, I followed her into the kitchen and took Brendan from her so she could make him lunch. I sat there dissecting her words, trying to determine whether she was upset. She might have brushed it off as not a big deal, but it felt like one to me.
Adding to my guilt, she looked exhausted, even after her nap with Brendan, but he appeared completely fine all afternoon. Nothing seemed off. I kept watching him. We all did, like he was going to collapse right in front of us. But even through dinner and his bath, he played and giggled. He asked me for two extra books at bedtime, but after today, I read him three. I left Bella upstairs to snuggle and rock him a bit more, knowing she was struggling to pull herself away.
“He’s asleep, finally,” Bella said as she came down the stairs.
“That’s good.” I grabbed the back of my neck, massaging the tense muscles.
“Are you upset we’re not staying with you tonight? I—”
I closed the distanced, and my hands gripped her waist, pulling her into me.
“No, baby. You guys had a stressful day, and he should be where he’s most comfortable. I get it.” I swallowed thickly. It was the right thing to say, but I would be lying if I said it didn’t bother me. “I’m going to stay here with you tonight.”
Her head immediately started shaking. “No. You don’t have to do that. You should go home and get some sleep. You have work tomorrow.”
“Bella, this isn’t up for discussion. I’m staying, just in case.”
I refused to take the chance that something would happen again and I wouldn’t be there. Even though I knew I had to go into work at some point the next day. The idea of leaving them again made my stomach sink.
Icouldn’t handle it yet.
