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“Do you remember anything?”
“The last thing I remember is heading to my room. I was going to visit with Randsin while I waited for you to come back home.” He rubbed at his tired eyes, smudging more dirt in messy rings against his skin.
Home. He used that word so sincerely. And in some ways he was right. The Heathern Court had become my home. It housed terrible memories, but it also contained good ones, filled with friendships that felt more like family.
“You don’t remember going to my room?”
He shook his head.
“What about talking to me?”
“No.” His throat bobbed.
How could I tell him?
Silence stretched between us.
“You tried to kill me last night,” I finally said. I just needed to rip the sticky bandage right off, no need to let the anticipation build. Carefully, I reached out and touched one of his hands, calloused and scarred, but still familiar.
“No, that’s not possible. No, no, no,” he said on a fading breath. He took my hand in both of his through the bars. Water gleamed on the edge of his eyelids, the whites tinted with red.
I nodded, closing my eyes and squeezing his hand. Just seeing him in this cage, and feeling the strength of his panic, made me nervous to open them again.
I didn’t come down here to cry. I’m stronger than this, I can cry alone in my bedroom later. Daethian doesn’t need to see how badly this affected me too. He doesn’t need any more guilt.
“I love you, Ryker, I would never hurt you.” His hands ran roughly over my palm, the back of my hand, and up my arm. Trailing fingers filled with remorse. His touch became static closer to the top of my shoulder as he took in the bruises that had already faded a bit from yesterday, on my neck.
“No, no, no,” he quietly cried, pulling back into the cell. His forehead rested against the cold bars. Fisting his hands, he beat against the door. “What the hell is wrong with me?”
“Stop.” I grabbed his hands to keep him from hitting the metal anymore. He was already in rough enough shape. “Suzetta already looked at you and she doesn’t know what’s wrong. What's in you is…strange.”
“What does that even mean?”
“I don’t know.”
It wasn’t the answer he wanted.“What will you do with me? Keep me in here?” The pitch of his voice broke, a deep V forming between his two thick brows.
“Suzetta is looking into it more. Graceson took Randsin back to the Acture Court and he will be working on it too, with King Windre. Until then, you have to stay here. You’re a hazard to other people, a hazard to yourself.”
Daethian’s gaze fell to the floor.
A growl rippled over his lips, his hands shooting between the bars and clamping against both my arms. “You’re more of a hazard to yourself than I’ll ever be.” His voice dipped into a deep, taunting tone.
“Let me go!” I pushed off of him.
He tilted his head back, his pupils murky, his skin draining to an unhealthy, ashy tone. “Next time, I hope you get close enough for me to eat.” He snapped his teeth at me.
“Who are you?” I hissed. Without thinking, I took a step away.
“I am Daethian, clearly. I’m just the side he normally suppresses. Everything I say is a thought that passes through this very head, but now I can no longer pretend like it doesn't exist.”
Every ounce of his anger for me was real. Everything he said had been some sort of thought that, until now, he hadn’t vocalized. I mean, that was one way to be more honest. But one thing didn’t ring true. Daethian wouldn’t want to hurt me.
“He would never lay hands on me like that. He would never hurt anyone like that.”
“Oh, how you’re wrong,” he snickered. “I want to hurt people. There are lots of people I’ve wanted to inflict pain on. It’s just sometimes I can’t help it if it’s you, or one of the keepers that I happen to unleash my fury on.”
Daethian dipped his head lower watching me through the bars. “There is so much love for you in here.” He tapped a finger against his chest, his tongue darting out over his lips. “So much passion. So muchlust. Tell me,Ryker Avery, have you ever thought about touching me like I’ve thought about touching you?”
