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“No problem. I’ll get your order for you.”
I stand by the end of the counter until she hands me my latte and cookie. Taking a seat, I sip my drink and close my eyes. So good. It’s cozy and feels like home. Another wave of emotions slams into me, and I lower my head and trap the tears with my closed eyes.
A scalding shower sounds great right now, so I can cry freely and wash away the day. I wave at the barista and head to my car. It’s going to be a restless night, but it’s better than arriving in Hartville wearing heartbreak for everyone to see. Once again.
32
Lex
“You have to tell us what happened.” Hope continues to insist. After two days of asking for space, she and Ellie disregarded my wishes and broke into my house. Literally broke in. When I got home from the studio, they were sitting on the couch in the dark and nearly gave me a heart attack.
″Hudson already told you.” I roll my eyes, keeping my arms crossed as a barrier.
The days since I arrived from Chapel Falls have been challenging. More than challenging. I’ve been living like a zombie. Try as I might to put on a smile and be present, my students can tell I’m not myself. As excited as I was to tell them about the conference, especially my teens, I’ve barely been able to get it out. Every time I try to, I think about the job offer.
″So you don’t want that job?” Hope pushes.
″No.” I shake my head. “Maybe it makes me a terrible person?”
″You’re not a terrible person,” Ellie says, squeezing my arm. “We all know how much the studio means to you.”
″Yeah. Don’t feel guilty because you love your job.” Hope smiles sympathetically.
I nod, my lower lip trembling. Doubt has been pounding against me as I replay my argument with Hudson. Well, more than an argument—our break-up. Did I make the wrong choice? Should I sacrifice my studio for love? So many questions that have no real answers.
″Oh, babes.” Hope reaches over and hugs me. Her arms are tight as she soothes me. Ellie joins in, both of them knocking me over on the sofa. I snort and finally wrap my arms around them.
″I’m such a fool. I should’ve seen this coming,” I say through tears.
″None of us saw it coming. Not even Toby. He mentioned that Hudson was looking at a career change or something.”
″What?” I lean my head back and look at Hope.
″That’s what he said,” she shrugs.
″That doesn’t make sense,” I shake my head. If that were true, he wouldn’t have insisted I interview for the teaching job in the city.
″I don’t know, but you’ll overcome this.” Her smile is sad and unconvincing.
″I just want to go to sleep.”
″It helps to talk about it.”
I look at Hope and shake my head. “I don’t want to. I want to sleep. I want to forget about it. I want to unlove him.”
″Sweetie,” Ellie presses her lips together.
″No,” I say firmly. “I appreciate you both. You know I love you like sisters, but I want to be alone now.”
″Okay,” Hope nods and stands. “We’ll go.”
Ellie opens her mouth to protest, but Hope reaches for her arm.
″Come on. We’ll call you soon.” Hope drags Ellie from my living room.
I don’t bother walking them out or locking up. I remain on the sofa, staring at a blank spot on the wall. Beside it is Hudson’s Christmas gift, taunting me. I don’t look at it. My eyes remain on the spot until they become tired, and I slide down on the couch, clutching one of the cushions to my chest.
Everything we lived and spoke about the last few weeks seems to have evaporated faster than rain in a desert. We were so close, but when it came down to it, the truth unraveled. How did Lorelai Gilmore overcome heartbreak? Probably by drinking copious amounts of coffee.
