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“Yeah, probably.” I’ve liked getting reacquainted with my hometown. I hadn’t realized how much I missed it until now. I keep pushing back my trip to the city. Reality is that Lex probably has something to do with it. Not probably, does have something to do with it.
“Probably?” He arches a brow and places his glass on the side table next to his armchair. He suddenly looks like the head honcho for a mafia. His eyes are scrutinizing and unimpressed.
“Yeah, I’ll likely head back for a few weeks, then return for Christmas.” I have no idea if my parents are spending Christmas here or not. They tend to travel for the holidays.
My dad tilts his head and studies me with a narrow gaze.
“Does this have anything to do with that girl?”
“What?” I stare at him with furrowed brows.
“Listen, son. I know you liked her. She’s pretty, I’ll give you that, but she’s the kind of woman you have fun with. She’s not the marrying type. Alexa doesn’t have anything to offer. She sure doesn’t fit into our circle. What would she talk to clients about? Her little dance classes? She’s a teacher, and not even an educational one. Imagine taking her to an event. She’d feel amazing on your arm, but she’s not on our level. Never has been.” He shakes his head.
Anger pulses through me. Heat fills me as I listen to the unbelievable garbage he’s saying. I’ve put up with a lot from my parents, but this is crossing a line. I won’t allow him to disrespect Lex like this.
“She’s not someone you just have fun with.” It disgusts me to know he’d even say something like that.
“She’s successful, runs her own business. She accomplished that by herself by working hard. You know how hard it is to manage a business, but you never started anything from scratch. You took over what was already established. It takes work to keep it successful, but neither of us had to take a risk like Lex did.” I stand, shaking my head as my hands curl into fists.
“If you stopped looking down at people, then you’d see the world for what it is. Not everyone lives in the bubble you and Mom are in. There’s more to life than socialite parties and one-upping your so-called friends by bragging. Everything in your circle is despicable and unfulfilling.”
I turn and walk out of the house before my anger gets the best of me. Hearing him talk that way about Lex, as if she’s disposable, brings out the worst in me. It’s not the first time we have had a conversation like this. My mother is even more ruthless than my father when it comes to Lex. They think treating people this way is acceptable, as if they were gods. Tristan had the right idea of breaking away from them and finding his own path.
As the older brother, I thought I was supposed to be the wiser one, but it seems he had clarity and guts that I lack.
I peel out of their driveway and onto the road. I drive aimlessly, breathing deeply to keep my anger in check, but every time I replay his words, it amplifies my irritation. I become enraged all over again. Part of the reason it’s been so easy to stay in New York is because I don’t have direct contact with my family. I only talk to my dad for business and leave it at that. It’s easy from a distance. Being in Hartville forces me to see them more often.
I slow down when I notice flakes falling. I didn’t think it’d snow yet. A smile forms as I think about Lex. She loves the snow. We haven’t spoken in a week, not since I ran into her on the way to The Bean. I saw her sitting there when I walked in, but I decided I had pushed too far when we were on the sidewalk. Work has helped me stay focused and fight my temptation to send her any messages.
Today may be the day I break that. I can admit defeat, even if it’s against my own willpower. When it comes to Lex, I don’t think I ever had much power. It seems some things don’t change.
Pulling into town, I park near the inn and wander, watching the snow fall harder now. The few people walking around town laugh and stare in wonder. Snow isn’t a foreign concept in this area, and yet people always act like it’s magic.
I see the dance studio a few doors down. The lights are still on, and it seems like people are inside. That means Lex will see the snow. I smile at that. All I ever wanted was for her to be happy, and I thought getting away from the town where my parents lived would grant us that. Seeing her studio, the people that walk in and out of it, the students she has, it all makes sense why she wouldn’t want to give this up. I knew it then, but desperation blinded me.
My feet push me toward the studio and halt. What am I doing? I can’t just walk in there. I check the time on my watch and hang back. She has about fifteen minutes left of class. I’ll never admit to anyone that I searched her schedule online. Being this close to her, having another opportunity to talk to her and see her, makes me do crazy things.
I walk closer as the minutes pass and look in through the big windows. I can barely see the class through the waiting room, but Lex is smiling as she teaches some steps to her older students. Knowing she accomplished her dream makes me proud of her. I also hate that I didn’t get a chance to stand by her side, cheer her on and support her like I always imagined I would.
I was so in love with her, but my selfishness stood in our way. She didn’t deserve that. She deserved a man who would honor her wishes and give her what she wanted. I failed her, and I failed myself. No one has compared to her. I can’t even say I’ve given anyone a real chance since Lex walked out of my life.
I lean against the edge of her building with a side view into the window. When the students walk out of the dance room, I straighten and wait for them to leave. A few of their moms smile at me as they go home. I should worry about their knowing grins, but I don’t back down. Squeals of joy ring when some of the girls notice it’s snowing, and I chuckle at their enthusiasm.
When the last student is gone, I enter the studio. Lex comes out to the waiting room and freezes.
“What are you doing here?”
I smile and shrug, taking her in. Her bun has a few strands that have fallen, and her face has a sheen of sweat from dancing. She’s wearing leggings and a long-sleeve fitted shirt that opens in a wide V toward the edge of her shoulders. Her outfit shows off her body without being provocative, and I clear my throat to gain some self-control.
“It’s snowing,” I blurt out, looking at her eyes and hoping she didn’t notice me checking her out. She’s gorgeous.
“Really?” Her chocolate eyes light up.
“Yeah. It started a little bit ago.” She rushes to the big window and stares outside. That’s when I notice the same wide V from the front of her shirt is on the back, leaving her shoulder blades exposed. It’s tempting to reach out and feel her skin, kiss her shoulder.
“It is,” she exclaims, turning around to face me.
“Come on.” I grab her hand, but she pulls back.
