AllFreeNovel
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“You love the snow,” I stare in confusion at her hesitation.
“I need shoes.” I look down and find hot pink toes.
“Right.” I nod and watch her slip back into the dance room.
Lex is back in no time and out the door without waiting for me. She stares up into the sky, arms spread wide. Watching her squeezes my heart. She’s perfect.
“I thought you’d want to know.” I step closer to her.
Her head tilts back so she can look at me. “I love snow,” she sighs. “Thanks.” Big flakes land on her hair.
“Anytime.”
When she spins around, I chuckle. Then she begins to dance, and I can’t help it. I reach out for her hand and grab it, whirling her around. Lex stops and looks at me, her lips parted, her nose and cheeks red from the cold. My thumb brushes across the top of her hand. The silence is full of emotions as we look at one another with intensity.
Breaking the spell, I step back and extend our arms before I spin her around again. Her free hand reaches out, palm up, catching snowflakes. I tug her back to me, and she crashes into my chest. With no distance between us, I look down into her eyes and find a myriad of emotions staring back at me.
I comb my other hand into the side of her head. When she leans into my touch, I close my eyes. I’ve wanted to feel this again since the day we broke up, but I didn’t have a right to.
“Hudson.” The way she whispers my name, a cross between sadness and longing, tells me she isn’t unaffected.
“Yeah?” My voice is gruff.
Lex blinks her eyes open, focusing on me. When she steps back, I feel her absence immediately.
“I should get back inside and clean up.” Melancholy vibrates off her. Her voice is low, and her words devoid of emotions.
“Do you need help?” I don’t want her to walk away like this.
She looks at me for a beat in silence, then shakes her head. “I’ve got it. Nothing new I haven’t done before.” She steps around me and walks toward the door. Before opening, she looks at me over her shoulder.
“Thanks for telling me about the snow.” A small smile lifts her lips, and I feel like so many unspoken things hang between us.
“You’re welcome. Glad you could enjoy it.”
She nods and slips inside while I stand out here, trying to get my head on straight. My feelings for Lex are still there, but our situation is the same. Unless I’m willing to make a change in my life and career, there’s no point in pursuing it. We’ll end up hurt again, and I won’t be able to forgive myself.
I’m not making the same mistake twice and telling her to give up her dream. I’m the one not fully living mine, and I need to reevaluate where my life is going and if it’s what I truly want. I refuse to end up like my parents, married to someone who only cares about money, social status, and impressing others. I want a real marriage one day. I want children who will be proud to call me Dad. I want a wife who loves me for me, not for the size of my bank account or the events we’ll attend as if we were models on display for others to pick apart while we pretend to tolerate one another.
I want honesty and love, and I had that with Lex and let it slip away. Regret once again consumes me. She was the best thing in my life. She was the only person besides Toby I could count on and confide in. Now, we’re strangers sharing snippets of moments based on memories we made.
I want what we had again. Determination drives me, and I walk into the studio, pulling the door open with force.
“Lex,” I call out. When I see her wiping under her eyes with a broom resting against her shoulder, my heart stops.
“Hey,” I reach her and crouch down so I can look at her face. “What’s wrong?” I whisper, pulling her hands away.
“Nothing,” she shakes her head, but I see the red in her eyes.
“Why are you crying?”
“I’m not.” Her stubbornness makes an appearance.
I tilt my head and lift my brows. “Don’t lie to me.”
“I’m not lying. They’re allergies. From the snow.” She lifts her chin in defiance.
“Allergies?” I bite back my smile. “Since when?”
