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I nod. I’m not very forthcoming with my emotions at times, but that doesn’t take away from the fact that I miss having my brother around and am glad we’re spending time together—even when I get annoyed that he interrupts an impromptu date like last night.
“Are you ready to order?” The waiter stops by our table.
“Oh.” Lex’s eyes widen.
“Can you give us a minute? We got distracted talking.” I wink over at Lex.
“Of course,” he nods and turns away, unimpressed yet polite.
“I should know what I want since I love this restaurant, but I always get torn between a few dishes.” I watch her scan the menu with her nose scrunched up. This woman is perfect in my eyes. I can’t help but continue to imagine what our life would have been like had we stayed together.
Days of making memories and nights spent loving her. We could have been married by now.
“I’m going to have the barbecue pork ribeye.” I rest my menu on the table and grab my wineglass.
“That’s so good here. I’m going to have the bourbon maple chicken breast. I haven’t had that in a while.” She practically drools.
“It’s like you’re more excited about the food than me,” I tease.
“I kinda am,” she shrugs apologetically. “Don’t take it personally, but I need to feed the monster.” She pats her stomach.
“I’ve heard the complains it makes,” I chuckle. “No offense taken.”
“Hey!” She taps my leg under the table much like she did last night. I like this playful side of her that isn’t guarded or measured. It reminds me of how we were in the past, and it gives me hope that we can regain that part of ourselves.
“Everyone’s stomach growls,” she defends.
“I agree. Yours just likes to protest a bit louder.” I wink and chuckle when the toe of her boot collides with my shin.
“Ouch.” I reach down and grab her ankle.
My fingers hold her foot in place before smoothing up her leg just below her calf. I stroke my thumb along the backside of her leg. Her boot hides her skin from me, but her eyes burn into mine. The look on her face tells me my touch affects her despite the layers of material.
I slide my hand back down, giving her ankle a squeeze before releasing it. Lex’s lips are parted, her chest rising unevenly. I want to kiss her again, soak up all that she has to offer. She’s my fuel, my energy, my everything. How did I let her go so easily? How did I let my anger interfere with what we had? Why did it take me so long to see her again?
I’m kicking myself for not going back to her on my knees and begging for forgiveness sooner, but I didn’t see a solution to our problems back then. I won’t make the same mistake twice.
Lex clears her throat and takes a drink of wine. Her chest is flushed.
“Anyway, I bet your stomach is also a loud monster when you’re hungry.”
“Wouldn’t you like to find out.” I waggle my eyebrows.
A boisterous laugh moves through her. Lex’s hand lands on her chest as her body shakes with humor.
“That makes zero sense,” she shakes her head while still laughing.
“I don’t know. It sounded better in my head,” I defend.
“Jokes were never your strong suit.” She continues to laugh.
“I did have other strong suits.” I lift my brows.
“You did,” she nods, all trace of humor leaving her.
“One of my strongest suits was…” I take a drink of wine, prolonging the anticipation of what I’ll say, making her squirm.
“Loving you,” I finally add. The look on Lex’s face turns serious, her eyes sad.
