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They all nod and mumble in agreement, but something in my stomach tightens. As long as Trine is separated from us, we can’t protect her. And I want to believe that she’s going to be okay.
I really, really do.
I just don’t know if I can.
LUKE
Aura invites us to stay over at her house until Trine is released, but we decline saying that we’ve already booked a hotel. We haven’t. I think Rei and Misha think it would be uncomfortable to stay there, and it might be seen by Trine as us betraying her, which isn’t what we want.
It would be helpful to have access to all our research materials in one place, but still. It’s more important to make sure that Trine feels safe, especially when she gets out of the mental health facility she’s currently stuck in.
But none of us really feel like talking. We’re all still worried about her, not just the fact that she’s been institutionalized but also, she’s just been in a car accident, and we can’t even be around her as she recovers.
We sit in the parking lot of a small motel with exterior yellow walls and a wraparound balcony. The motel itself smells like wet dog and cigarette smoke. From the gas station next door, I can hear the sound of people screaming from their cars. I’m not sure if they’re laughing or fighting, but it’s not my business, so when Rei tells us that he has a headache and wants to duck to his room immediately, saying that he needs to sleep it off, I’m about to do the same thing.
But Misha gives me a meaningful look through the rearview mirror and I realize I need to stay here, since he clearly needs to talk.
I don’t want to talk, but I don’t know if I should be alone.
Misha doesn’t talk until Rei walks into the lobby, the sliding doors closing behind him. We’re in the car so it’s not like he can hear us anyway, but Misha obviously doesn’t want Rei hearing what he has to say.
“I need to talk to you,“ he says.
I raise my eyebrows. “I think you have to be confirmed to confess.“
He laughs, no humor in his voice. “That’s not what I need to talk about. Shit, maybe it is.“
“If you’re worried about her…“
“I am worried about her,“ he says. “Of course I’m worried about her. But that’s not what I need to talk to you about.“
“What do you need to talk about?“
“I need to…something happened.“
I wait for him. “Were you…hurt?“
“No,“ he says. “I had a threesome.“
“Good for you?“
“No, man,“ he says. “With Trine.“
My heart sinks. She’s not my girlfriend, she’s not anything to me. I’m a priest. I’m supposed to be following my celibacy vows. But with Trine around, it feels impossible, and there’s something about the way Misha’s speaking that’s making me anxious. I wait for him, mostly because I don’t want to say anything that I’m going to regret. I’m trying to be a good listener and not think about how I feel about this. This isn’t my business.
“And Rei.“
I do a double-take as I turn to look at him. “What?“
“They were on a date and Rei texted me to ask me if I wanted them to come back to my hotel room, and I didn’t have to think about it, so…“
“Are you okay?“ I ask. “I mean, about this. I don’t know if you’re okay in general.“
“Yes,“ he says, then leans his head on the headrest and closes his eyes. “I mean, yes, I think so. There’s a lot I need to think about, but it’s going to change things between us.“
“Between you and Trine?“
“No. Rei,“ he says. “I’m happy with where things are with Trine. I mean, except for her being in mortal danger. I don’t love that, but there’s nothing I can do about it. Once this whole thing is over, once we help her, what’s going to happen? Are the three of us going to go back to the way things were before?“
