AllFreeNovel
Share Us
He still sends his mom money, or at least he did when we were together. He loves to help out and knowing he’s making his mom and dad’s lives easier is something that makes me him a little more.
My body thrums with nerves as Greg catches sight of me. Instead of the friendly smile he used to wear, he glowers at me, and I shrink a little into myself. Nothing is the same. Not anymore. He probably hates me too.
The Landon turns and his smile fades as he catches a glimpse of me across the room staring at him.
Everything around me stops, my breath, my heart and the sounds of the room fade away to nothing because he lifts his gaze as his eyes meet mine and held on.
I see the tightening of his eyes as pain, regret, humiliation, lust and anger cross his vision until he rips his eyes away and spins to face Greg. He speaks quickly to Greg, saying something with his hands that I’m too far away to catch, but from the look of his hands and how animated he is, I can tell he’s furious.
I can hear occasional fucks and shits as he speaks. and my eyes scan his body while he’s distracted. His ass is even curvier, but his waist is a little smaller. His hair is still caramel colored, longer that it’d been when I’d last saw him, curling a little around his neck and ears, but he’s still the same breathtakingly beautiful boy I’d fallen completely in love with which tears at my shattered heart, hurting me all over again.
Part of me wants to go over, to get this meeting over with, but then Greg steps into my line of vision heading towards me with a look that is somewhere between hatred and disgust on his face.
Fuck. I want to run and hide. I’m still a fucking coward, but before I can make my feet move Greg arrives and my desire to flee thrums under my skin, a constant buzz, a pressure that makes it difficult to even meet his eyes.
“Hey,” he mutters as he closed the distance between us. I’m still tempted to turn around and run away, but that wouldn’t solve anything.
“You weren’t supposed to see each other yet. He’s not happy about you being cast, but I was supposed to have more time to ease him into that news and now you’ve blown that plan to pieces.”
My eyes move around him, and I watch Landon over on the opposite side of the room talking to someone, but before I could grasp who it is, Greg sidesteps in front of him, blocking him from my view.
“Listen, Hudson, he’s never going to forgive you for what happened so if that’s why you took this part, you can forget it. You hurt him worse than anyone else ever has and it still hurts him, even now, so I’m asking you… No, I’m begging you to let him go. He deserves so much more that you can give him, and I never want to see my best friend hurt like that again.”
I drop my eyes from looking longingly at Landon as I nod. Greg was right. I didn’t deserve his forgiveness. We have to work together, but that’s it. It’s just work. We’re not who we used to be. We aren’t the same people we were before, and I can’t make him love me again.
“Well?”
I glance slowly up at Greg and met his eyes.
“You’re right. He deserves so much better. I don’t expect anything from him, least of all his forgiveness…”
“Perfect. So, you’ll stay away from him unless you’re filming?”
It breaks me a little, but I manage to mutter my assent and Greg spins around, going back to Landon and talking lowly in his ear. I watch for half a second before I swallow around the lump that was back in my throat and head over to the table for a coffee.
A few of my castmates that I’d already met at the casting sessions are there, so I kill some time chatting with them. I can feel his eyes on me, burning into my neck but I ignore it and sipped on my drink, wishing I was anywhere else. I still can’t figure out why I’d thought this was a good idea, why I let Maggie push me into this. I’m a lead in the movie alongside my ex who hates my guts and who I’m still arse over elbow in love with.
The next few months are going to kill me. I know it and I don’t care anymore. It’s not like I had much to live for now.
Every member of my family is disgusted in me. My mom can barely look at me and my dad had already had trouble accepting that his son was into the same sex, when I’d fled back to London and told him what I’d done he’d laughed at me and told me to man up.
That’s it. Nothing else. No one else ever asked me what happened or listened when I wanted to talk about it. The boys in the band listened a little at first, but eventually they stopped, and I was so lonely. I stopped trusting people, stopped speaking to my wider circle of friends because Xander was still in that group, and I couldn’t stomach seeing him.
Vikki was great, but she was only my friend because I paid her. I knew if I fired her then she would move on and forget me, like everyone else had done.
“Hudson, Cameron wants you and Landon on stage five.”
One of the stage hands touched my arm and I jerked away, spilling my coffee on the floor and stepping back as he held his hands up.
“Sorry mate I didn’t mean to startle you. You’re needed on stage five. It’s time for you and Landon to meet.”
I give a stiff nod, following him out the door and into another smaller staging area where the bedroom scene has been constructed. It’s where Grant and Devon are to have their last goodbye, before Grant is put on the case and finds out exactly what Devon is keeping from him.
Part of me is dreading it, but another small part of me was excited to touch my boy again, to taste his lips and to remember how it felt to be loved, to be wanted and not feel used and disgusting.
Trepidation makes my feet drag and my heart start to race. I don’t want to face him or face our fucked up past, but I know I have to get over it. We have to work together, and we need to at least be able to act professional, but fuck it, I’m scared because he still has the power to fuck me up completely. He can ruin me with one look, and I know I’m not strong enough.
Before I get a chance to compose myself, I arrive and he turned to face me.
