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“Are you sure you wanna give this up, Hudson. This is a beautiful home.”

“It’s not a home, it’s a house. A home has love in it, this has nothing but memories I’d rather forget.”

She saunters back towards me, swinging her hips and running her finger up my arm.

“Maybe you just need someone to help you make new memories…”

“Jenna, listen…” I begin but she reaches up and cups the back of my neck, trying to tug my face down to her lips, but I level her with a look.

“No. I’m not interested. Now can you sell this fucking house or what?”

My words are sharp and I pull away from her, watching as her face colors and she bites her lip, glancing down as I step further back.

“Of course, Sir. I’ll put it on the market and contact your lawyers about your request regarding the finances.”

With that she spins and leaves and I crumple to the floor. I wait with my fists clenched until I hear the door close before I let the torture of being back in this house out. I need it gone. I need somewhere that I’m not reminded of the biggest mistake of my life. I lie down on the floor and sob into my arms until something under the bed catches my eye and I see the metal box of my old notebooks and most prized possessions.

I crawl towards it, tugging my keys from my pocket and opening it gingerly, sneezing as the dust is disturbed. I wipe my nose on my sleeve and pick up the black velvet box from the top of my notebooks. My fingers shake as I open the box and see the rings inside. I was going to ask him to marry me. It was way of promising that we’d come out together but I never got the chance. I throw the box across the room before letting the pain sweep me under in a tidal wave of grief.

I don’t know how long I lie there on the floor, long enough that day passes into night and I drift off cold, alone and unwanted on the floor, discarded like a broken record that no one wants.

The next two days pass with me barely moving until Vikki comes in and makes me get up and get dressed.

“Maggie is losing her shit over you disappearing. I’ve made excuses on set, but you need to get back to work.”

I nod as she leads me out to the car, and I see Drew behind the wheel of their Kia that I borrowed a few days ago. I open my mouth to apologize, but she shoves me into the Kia that is idling by the curb.

We drive to set in her Escalade, and I say nothing, holding my hands around my waist. I throw myself into my scenes and ignore every attempt Landon makes at trying to talk to me. I evade him at every turn, turning him down and forcing myself to ignore the longing my body is feeling when he looks at me like a kicked puppy.

I end up staying in my trailer and asking Vikki to bring my bags to set. I hide out in my trailer for the next week until Vikki starts worrying about me again. Maggie comes to set on the fourth day of me staying in my trailer and has a go at me about my haggard appearance.

“You need to make more of an effort, Hudson.”

I block her out and stare out of the window as the rain lashes down on the city of LA, watching droplets of water making their way down the window pane and falling to the ground.

“Seriously, you’re a rockstar and you look like a depressed hobo. Shave the fucking beard and let Vikki cut your damn hair. I’m sick of getting calls about how awful you look.”

I stare at her as she shakes my shoulder and she winces at the dead expression behind my eyes.

“I thought this movie would help fix you, but if anything you’re worse. Fucking man up and stop acting like a spoiled child who’s told no. So he doesn’t want you anymore, plenty of other people do. Maybe I should give Xander and your old friends a call…”

“No. Don’t you dare call him!”

My voice is hoarse and loud in the enclosed space and Maggie steps back wincing as Vikki comes back into the trailer with her bag of tricks.

“We’ll shave and cut your hair or I will, though I don’t know what’s gotten into you. He’s your friend. He’s been calling me asking to see you for months…”

“He is not my fucking friend.”

Panic starts to rise inside me like a tsunami and I sit up.

“I’ll cut my hair and shave, I promise, but please don’t call him. Please?”

She gives me a last confused look as Vikki comes over and hands me a cup of tea.

“What’s going on? Hudson are you okay?”

I glance down and see I’m twisting my wrists around and around and around. I can’t see him. He can’t come her. Landon… fuck… I can’t.

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