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I break off running my hand through my hair in frustration as I try to lay my fear that he was raped. The thought of it makes my insides churn uneasily and I’m scared because he’s so vulnerable right now.
“What is it?”
His voice is low, hesitant and I can hear the worry lacing his words. I suck in a deep breath and stare into his eyes for a moment, gathering my strength.
“Baby, do you think that maybe he… raped you? Like maybe he drugged you so he could have sex with you?”
I watch as he curls into himself, and I loathe myself for bringing this up now. I should have waited. I’m so stupid. I close my eyes, so I don’t have to look at the sight of the love of my life trying to make himself smaller, trying to hide from the anguish of my words.
“Yes.”
Hudson answers and his voice is whisper soft and my eyes fly open. Tears are rolling down his cheeks and his chest is rising and falling rapidly. He speaks before I can offer any words of comfort.
“I don’t know for sure, but I know that he wanted me. He told me I could do better than you that day and…”
He stares at me for a moment before tentatively reaching for my hand where it lies on the bed between us. I wait as he sucks in another breath and swallows harshly. Fear clouds his eyes and I see the tightening of his eyes as he weighs up his next words. I don’t speak, letting him gather his confidence to speak.
“He tried to… uh… he tried to kiss me… a few times in the weeks before, but he always claimed it was because he was drunk, and I let it go because it never happened until that day. I was sitting out on the balcony waiting for you to come home and he kissed me. I pushed him away, I swear, and he laughed as he passed me another drink.”
Fury roars through my body making my whole being stiffen. It’s not Hudson’s fault but he flinches at what he sees in my face.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry….”
He lets go of my hand and I pull in a shaky breath before I lean closer, pressing a soft kiss to his head and breath him in for a moment. I wrap my arms around his body, pulling him closer, being mindful of the drip and just hold him tightly as he sobs into my shirt.
“Shhhh. It’s okay baby. It wasn’t your fault. You didn’t do anything wrong.”
His head shakes against my chest and I rub my hands up and down his back, reassuring him that I’m his, that I’m staying and that it’s not his fault.
“Please, say you forgive me?”
His voice is soft, shaky and scared sounding and for a moment I’m confused because there is nothing I need to forgive him for, so I ask him and his next words crush my heart into smithereens.
“Baby, what do I need to forgive you for? What happened wasn’t your fault…”
“It was though. I shouldn’t have called them over. I shouldn’t have let you walk out after our argument and I should have stood up for us more, fought back against them keeping me in the damn closet, but I took it for granted. I took us for granted and I need to know you forgive me. Please, darlin’, please forgive me…”
His shoulders shake and his words come out broken as he speaks, but I let him get it all out before I answer him in a stern voice.
“Hudson, there is nothing to forgive. We were both stupid and took our relationship for granted because we love each other. Love you forever, remember?”
He laughs wetly and buries his face in my neck for a moment, but I speak again and I need him to hear me. I need him to know that I’m sorry too, that I messed up too.
“I’m sorry I left that day. I’m sorry I ran away when I walked in and I’m sorry I didn’t let you explain, and we do need to talk about this, but for now, let me just hold you yeah?”
He nods softly and we sit, wrapped around each other for a while as people come and go from the room, Maggie, Vikki, Greg and Cameron all come and I answer them, letting Hudson sleep or hide when they come in because he’s my boy and I didn’t protect him before, but I will, every single day for the rest of my life if he’ll let me.
Chapter Six
HUDSON
The next few hours pass with me hiding from everyone in Landon. I still can’t believe he’s here or that he saved my life, but I’ve never been more grateful to him and knowing he still loves me and doesn’t blame me for what happened soothes an ache in my chest.
For the first time in over a year I feel whole, complete. I feel home in his arms and I know I’ll do anything. I can’t be without him ever again.
“Huds,” Landon speaks in a soft voice rousing me from where I was sitting against his chest, staring into space.
“Yeah,” I smile softly up at him and he presses a soft kiss to my lips before he sits back and looks down at me seriously.
