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He couldn’t give her time to talk, not when she was already so close to making him flout the rules which had been in existence for too many years to recall. She was adamant they had a potential future together, and he really believed she could convince him of the same.
If only.
He had to take her back before his control frayed completely, and leave her alone for the next fifty years. It was going to hurt, no doubt about that. His stupid heart was already partially thawed from its hibernation, seeking the warmth of hers.
Did he honestly care that she’d cheated in an idiotic game?
No.
Did he believe she loved him?
Yes.
Was there any chance they could share a future together?
That decision wasn’t in his hands.
Lara squirmed beneath him, trying to get his attention on her so they could have a conversation, but she would say all the right words to change his mind. If the sensation inside his chest was love, he needed more of it. She brought warmth and light to the table like a flush of cards, spread out over the baize, where he only had what he was to offer in return.
Cold. Dark. Death. Misery.
“Seth, we can figure this out. It’s not a complicated situation. I love you and want to be with you. Don’t send me home, please. Let me stay here. Let me help you reap. Just don’t ask me to leave you.”
See, just like that. He clenched his jaw to stop the agreement on his tongue from spewing out, from declaring things he had no right to think, let alone vocalize. Willing his cock to harden again, he snapped, “There won’t be any asking, Lara.”
“Aren’t you sick of being alone?”
Loneliness was his nemesis. The unceasing and eternal enemy he fought day after day, with no reprieve. This interlude with Lara would forever be a memory he treasured, a bittersweet reminder that he’d had what his soul craved…and released her for her own sake.
Against his firm resolve not to look at her, he found himself staring into her eyes. Round and wide with hurt he’d never meant to cause, the green shimmering with unshed tears designed to destroy a man.
Abruptly, he shoved himself away, disengaging from her a little more roughly than he intended. There could be no more sex, he realized. They were done, and she needed to go home before his selfishness did more harm.
Running his hand along her thigh, feeling the muscles quiver, he cursed everything that made him who he was. Everything which made it impossible for an immortal and a human to forge a relationship.
“Get dressed, Lara,” he told her in a gentler tone. No matter how he said the words, they would cut deep—they were already slicing his insides into ribbons of guilt and regret. “I’ve kept you here too long, and it’s time you went back to the life you broke all the rules for.”
Slowly, she dragged herself up the bed until her back was against the headboard. Drawing her knees up to her chest, she wrapped her arms around them, then rested her chin on top. She looked sweet and innocent, ravaged and defiled.
Stunning.
“I broke them for you,” she whispered. “I’m not going back, Seth. There’s nothing much left to live for without the dream of you. Not after experiencing the reality of you. If you’re not going to abide by the rules and grant my request, then kill me. At least respect me enough to give me that.”
Oh, she liked asking him for the impossible. Seth moved around the room, dressing himself once again, carefully restoring the façade of cool, calm, and collected with each piece of the suit he assembled. When his defense mechanism was perfectly in place—shirt cuffs shot, tie expertly knotted and straightened, with not an errant thread to be found—he sat beside her on the bed and took her hand.
“I respect you, Lara. If I didn’t, I would steal you away in a heartbeat, keep you prisoner here for the rest of time like a pet locked in a house all day with the owners working all the hours God sends. I’d take the triumph of the accomplishment you’ve earned—cheating Death is a rarity.” He sighed, wishing the situation didn’t feel so short and stilted. “This way, you get to live. Fifty years is a blip in the grand scheme, and maybe by the time we meet again, I’ll be little more than a footnote in the history of your achievements.”
“Fifty years is a blip to you,” she retorted dully.
“It will be an eternity without you.”
Breaking every vow he’d made not to extend the intimacy between them, he leaned forward and brushed his lips over hers, testing the waters. When they parted expectantly, he didn’t hesitate, sliding his free hand around the back of her neck as he kissed her fiercely.
Lara unfolded herself enough to grip his shoulders, falling into him. He heard her stifle a sob, felt the misery she exuded like a stab to the heart. Dying a little inside, feeling parts of himself wither, he scooped her onto his lap and let his tongue and lips express what he couldn’t say.
Hands stroking and soothing, he memorized every curve, every soft patch of skin. It was, after all, the little things that would keep him going every damn day.
She moaned into his mouth, inviting him to take them to the third round of sex, but he just rose slowly, distracting her with his mouth. She tasted like apples and vanilla—his new favorite flavor.
