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Can’t and won’t seem like words I’m not fucking interested in anymore. This is my place. And it’s my country.
It’s time to make some choices.
Chapter Ten
NAJA
The door closes behind me, and I take a shuddering breath.
Did that just happen?
There will be time to replay my decisions later, but right now, I want to check on Miri. She’s not asleep as I make my way through the other beds. She's sitting up and looking at me with confusion on her face, but worse than that, fear. That's my constant reminder that this place has infected my little sister and turned her carefree and hopeful nature into something poisoned.
Her scared eyes haunt me, rekindling my strength to keep fighting because I know what will come. Maybe not the exact details, but I know we’re going to be used by men, maybe here or somewhere else. Either way, the end result will be the same. We have no identity, no documents, and no rights in their eyes.
She puts her arms out for me as I approach her, and it’s her time to wrap me in her arms. “Where have you been?” she whispers in Danish.
“It doesn’t matter.”
“Are you okay? You’re not hurt?” She releases me to take a look, examining my clothes as if visually checking what might have happened.
“I’m fine, Miri, I promise.” I pull her arms from me and sit on the bed, holding her hands in mine. “I want a shower. How have the others been?”
“Quiet. I didn’t sleep for long. And panicked when I woke up and you weren’t here. I assumed they’d taken you.”
“I’m sorry I scared you, but I hoped you’d rest. How's your foot?”
I pull her leg towards me and start untying the bandage they shoved around our feet.
“No. I don’t want to look.” She stills my hands and shakes her head urgently.
“Okay. Okay. I won’t. But we’ll need to wash and change the dressings. Here. Let’s go to the bathroom.” A shower, despite the surroundings, is what I need – what I’m crying out for.
Despite there being no promise of help, I don’t regret what I did with Jackson. It was something I’d willingly do again, even if there was no promise of support. My body craved his touch, and while the other men have taken liberties, I enjoyed what we did. It was as much for me and Miri as it was for him.
And now we wait.
Will my sacrifice help us? Although, it wasn’t really a sacrifice. Jackson isn’t like the other men who’ve taken liberties with our bodies. I might be a little sore, and achy, but in a good way, rather than feeling revolting, afterwards.
“Watch the door.” Miri sits with her back to it, stopping anyone else from walking into the cramped space. The shower barely has room to put your arms up to wash your hair, but I’ll take it.
“Here, take two of these.” I hand Miri the pack of painkillers.
“Where did you get these?”
“Reed.” I keep his real name to myself. “I fixed up his cut and thought we could use them. I’ve already taken some but keep them out of sight from the other girls. There’s only a few left in the pack.”
I strip and rinse myself under the trickle of water. The thick remnants of what Jackson and I did is still wet between my legs, and I wash the dried cum from my skin. It’s a stark reminder that we didn’t use a condom, but that wasn’t even a fleeting thought in the moment.
A stranger in a place like this, and we weren’t careful.
I curse at my own stupidity, but I guess it wasn’t the first thing on my mind at the time. Reed was. He invaded all of my thoughts and even made it hard for me to remember why I got up to help him in the first place.
This man has to trust me. He has to think I’m special – something to him – or he might not help us. He still might not, but at least this way I can say I tried everything to save us.
The shower is never hot for long, so I’m quick under the water and use one of the towels to dry off and get dressed again.
Sitting on the floor with Miri, I unbandage my foot and wince as the gauze sticks a little when I pull. Pain needles at the edges of the C shaped mark, and it feels a little numb compared to the throbbing pain of a few hours ago.
