AllFreeNovel
Share Us
I tried not to watch him enter the restaurant and be seated near the window. Well, I’d gone this far. What were a few more minutes of guilty pleasure? I’d already sunk to the bottom of the barrel. Why not enjoy the scenery?
The server came over to him, taking his order before disappearing. When she returned, she brought two wine glasses and a bottle of something. Though he’d arrived alone, clearly he was waiting for his special lady. He took a sample of the wine before giving his approval. The server filled both glasses, then disappeared. Should I leave now before she arrived? Though I’d tortured myself, seeing her was more than I could handle. A picture was one thing. Seeing them cuddled up over a glass of wine after a sweet exchange of kisses and miss you’s was genocide.
My phone rang, but I ignored it. Just a few more seconds alone with him, promise. The caller could wait. The sting behind my eyes intensified until the tears pooled. I willed them to behave and not drip from the corners of my eyes at the same time that a deep chill settled at my core. Was it from the wind or was it from the feeling of loss that anchored me to this spot like a lost puppy?
My phone rang again and the familiar ringer jolted me out of the fantasy I’d been in. Removing the phone from my pocket, the name on the screen made everything pause. Just like when he’d gotten out of the car. Why was he calling me right now?
Clearing my throat, I tried to think of something to say, but until I knew rather or not he was butt dialing me, there was no way to know the reason for his call. I took a deep breath and turned away from the street, hoping that the traffic wouldn’t be as loud.
“Hello?” I answered hesitantly.
“Well hello, Anise. Are you going to watch me from outside or are you going to come inside and have dinner with me?”
I turned around to look inside the restaurant, only to see Raphael looking back at me with that silly, sexy grin of his. He knew.
“How did you…?”
“I saw you as I was driving up. Figured it wasn’t a coincidence. And since my driver texted me you were still outside, I figured it wasn’t too farfetched of an idea to assume that you were watching me. You only confirmed it a few seconds ago. Come inside, Anise.”
“I…”
“I’ll be waiting.” The line went dead, leaving me alone with my racing thoughts.
This wasn’t part of the plan. What if his fiance showed up? Was I ready to pretend that everything was ok? Maybe he needed closure just as much as I did. Exhaling and sealing my fate, I hugged myself while rubbing heat into my arms as I crossed the street, moving to his table. This wasn’t a test. I was about to sit down to dinner with the man that I loved, even though we could never be. I just hoped that I could keep it together. When it was over, I could fall apart at home in my bed, where it was safe. Right now, my brave face was required, right along with every ounce of my courage.
This was it. The final hour.
Chapter Ten
RAPHAEL
Sylvia insisted she come out with me tonight, though I’d rather be alone. With only a few days left here, the hustle and bustle of my days, and that quiet was needed, I really just wanted to be alone. There was no way to get her to listen that I’d come up with. Even in the car on the way here, we discussed the fact that she should just go on back to the hotel to enjoy a night without me. No luck. Well, not until I saw Anise standing between two buildings freezing her ass off. It wasn’t freezing, just windy. That’s when I decided she wasn’t coming in.
Seeing Anise was an unprepared-for punch to the gut. Swift. Hurt like a bitch. But I was still standing. Even though she couldn’t see me gawking at how beautiful she was, it still happened. It actually provoked me to take my time to take her in. I couldn’t see her eyes, but I knew the warmth that she always had was still there. She would always be a bright ray of light that shined hope my way. It's the number one reason I let her go.
Love was a thing that trapped people. Made you want to be somebody that you aren't, just for that person. Love made you tolerate things, stay up late worrying, and made you go out of your way to that little cafe that she liked to get her favorite meal. Love turned you into a mere shadow of yourself because you became so consumed, it shatters everything outside of the bubble that you live in.
After it was done with you, love made you bitter and cold. It was love that made you hate people and things. Love breaks your heart and isn't as understanding. Love is seriously fucked up. And that's why letting her leave was the best damn thing for both of us.
Love shined through her to me. Allowing thoughts of the future to unfold in my mind. The passion that burned deep inside was a catalyst for the uncontrolled feelings that would develop and make me hostile to every other man because her legs looked damn good in that skirt. These were problems I didn't want. Things that needed to find a different host because the interest in tangling with it lies with someone else. I didn't want to be a victim.
Fuck me, though. The minute that she walked through the gate, missing her pained me so intensely that I couldn't breathe. Call me psychic, but I knew I'd never see or hear from her again unless it was my doing. She was my best friend and the one thing that we were good at was what I needed and couldn't have at the moment. Talking to her about my problem was not an option, since she was the major source of it. So I let her go, shut down, finished my assignment there in London, and left.
I didn't expect to be here in New Orleans on her turf. I also didn't expect her to be watching for me at a restaurant. But observing her walk toward me with that natural sexy sway of her hips made all of those confusing emotions come running back. The things that questioned my logic came rushing in. Anise needed a protector. She deserved a man that could give her everything without questioning her motives. She needed someone that wasn't afraid to lose themselves in her. What she deserved was not me. I couldn't be the savior of her heart. I could only offer her the physical. No matter how quickly my heart was racing at the sight of her. Getting her warmed up was the reason that I'd called her in off the street. It had nothing to do with exactly how I wanted to heat her entire body.
“I…” Anise hesitated.
“Sit.” It came out harsher than I wanted because of how off-kilter I felt just from her being so close. Part of me wanted to push her up against the nearest wall, while the rest of me wanted to find out what she'd been up to in all this time.
Remembering my manners, I stood and pulled out her seat for her. She seemed shocked but took it. I sat across from her and took a second to take in her face.
“You've lost weight again.” I hated it when she tried to lose weight. Her curves were way too enticing to slight.
“Well, hello to you too Raphael.” Anise chuckled more to herself than to me.
“It's true. You're always trying to shed pounds that give your body its extraordinary virtues. Your curves are sexy. Why do you always hide them?”
The way she fidgeted in her seat alerted me to her discomfort. She was still rubbing her arms, though the restaurant was warm. She tugged on the corner of her lip with her teeth unnerved. Why?
