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He looked at his daughter, thinking how much she reminded him of her mother, with that same brown hair and bright, hazel eyes, and it broke his heart to see her hurting this way. ‘I know it’s tough and I wish I could tell you when it will get better, but the only option is to just keep going. One day at a time. That’s what I did and eventually, after a while, it does get easier. But for now, just do what you need to do.’
The head waiter appeared to take their order. ‘Hello, Mr Morris, Stella. How are you both?’
‘Well, thank you, Joseph, how are you?’
‘Very well, thank you. We have your favourite on the menu today. Fresh in this morning.’
‘Dover sole?’ Her father’s face lit up. ‘Yes please.’
The waiter nodded and turned to Stella.
‘And I’ll have the calamari – we can share, Dad – and then the risotto verde.’ She smiled up at Joseph.
‘And another couple of glasses of this, please.’ Stella’s father tapped his glass.
‘Dad, I shouldn’t.’
‘It’s only Prosecco. And they’re small glasses.’ He smiled. ‘My treat.’
‘Thanks.’ She picked up a piece of bruschetta, popping it into her mouth. It felt good to be out, doing something normal rather than sitting, waiting for a text, an email, a call, or spending hours trawling the social media accounts of his friends in the hope of tracking Simon down.
‘So how was your meeting?’ He too reached for the plate.
Stella shrugged her shoulders. ‘It was with my solicitor. I just thought I should see her, let her know what was going on and it was fine, really.’ This wasn’t quite true. During the meeting, her solicitor had broken the news to Stella that the house and business were in both their names, so at some point she and Simon would have to discuss what to do about that. It had seemed so unreal to be talking about the man she had thought she knew so well as if he were a stranger. Her solicitor had gone on to talk about protecting her assets, but she hadn’t really been able to take it all in, scribbling a few notes in the hope that the advice might make more sense to her when she came back to it later. She was usually all about the detail, but it all felt so surreal, unbelievable in fact.
‘Well, that’s something I suppose.’
‘I kind of wish he’d done something dramatic before leaving, at least then I’d know why.’
‘You don’t mean that, Stella.’
‘The funny thing is, I really do.’
'Stella, I realise I may be a little biased, but you are my brilliant, funny, fearless daughter.’ He held his hand up when she tried to protest. ‘Please, it’s important you hear this. Obviously, only Simon knows why he decided to leave. Hopefully, one day he can explain his actions, but until then don’t punish yourself trying to work it out. It’ll drive you crazy. You need to conserve your energy for you and the children. And we’re all here to help, OK?’
Stella nodded slowly, her head down. ‘I know, Dad. I’m just so bloody furious about it.’ She lifted her eyes to meet her father’s gaze. ‘How could he do this to us?’
Her father shook his head a little. ‘Life has a habit of really blindsiding us every now and again. What I do know is that all we can do is keep going and hope that things will get better.’ He picked up his glass. ‘They usually do.’
Stella held her glass up to his. ‘I wish Mum was here.’
‘I know.’
They raised a silent toast between them.
* * *
As she walked back home, along the river with the spring sun on her face, Stella passed couples on the footpath, old and young. Life went on around her and she wondered, as she did about a million times a day, where Simon was. What was he doing? Who was he with? And, of course, the hardest question of all – why wasn’t he with her?
She remembered her father’s words and looked up at the pale afternoon sky. She took out her phone and, before she overthought it, quickly tapped out a message to book club. If she really was going to try to take her mind off Simon, perhaps Florence was a good idea after all.
10
As soon as Stella had said she was ready to go, the other three had swung into action. Lucy was on flights duty, Sarah and Bridget took on the task of finding a hotel and Stella was told to do nothing but organise childcare for a couple of weeks’ time, from Friday afternoon until Sunday evening.
With offers from both Caroline and her father and Susie to help look after the children and the dog while she was gone – honestly, they were all thrilled to hear she was going away – Stella felt happy leaving the organising of everything else to her friends. Frankly, she didn’t really care where she was going. Anywhere would do, as long as it took her mind off her current situation even for just a little bit.
Stella returned to the office for a couple of days a week but found it almost impossible to engage with what was going on. Instead, she sat in meetings, nodding and smiling in what she hoped were the right places. She’d always been so driven and focused at work but now struggled to complete even the simplest of tasks without considerable effort.
