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Emily checked her phone for messages and let her mother know she was on her way. The reply came soon after: her father had been discharged and they’d both be at home by the time she got there. A sense of relief ran through her body, knowing her father was going to be all right. For a moment, Emily wondered whether she could turn back, but they knew she was on her way and no matter how much she didn’t want to go, she knew she had to. She asked if she could pick up any food for them so that she could cook them lunch, but her mother replied she’d already got something, so not to worry.
Putting her phone back in her bag, Emily felt guilty at not wanting to see them. She knew they loved her; they just had a funny way of showing it. And if – or rather, when – they asked her if she’d met anyone, or started talking about other people’s children, Emily resolved to tell them that she was very happy on her own. Perhaps then they’d think before asking her next time. The very thought of that conversation tightened that knot in her stomach a little more.
Emily drove south from Oban along the coast, through forests and across open moors, over the Crinan Canal and along the shores of Loch Sween to the village of Tayvallich, where her parents had lived since she was a little girl. The sheltered harbour came into view, dotted with white sailing boats and fishing boats, a sight so familiar, and yet living here seemed like another lifetime entirely. Her family lived in a small house overlooking the harbour, just next to the church. She’d spent her summers as a teenager working in the village pub, which is where she’d learned to cook. Emily had started as a waitress when she was fifteen and by eighteen had got herself a job in the kitchen. The owner, Jim, was a trained chef and after years working in London had moved to the village with his wife Pam, who’d also grown up nearby. Over the years, Jim taught Emily everything he knew, recognising her natural ability to put flavours together as soon as she’d set foot in the kitchen. The food at the pub was simple: fresh hand-dived scallops, crab, lobster, mussels and whatever else come in on the boats from the waters around them. There was always a pie of the day and, if the price was right, Scottish rib-eye too.
When she’d started in the kitchen, puddings were limited to locally made ice cream and bought-in cakes, so Emily had started to make her own, presenting them in turn to Jim and Pam to see if they might make it onto the menu. Before long, Emily’s freshly made cakes, which ranged from orange polenta to pistachio, dense chocolate to the lightest lemon, became a hit with both tourists and locals alike.
It was in that first summer when she’d worked in the kitchen full time that she also met her first proper boyfriend, a boy she’d known since primary school. Not that she’d seen Jack for years, but suddenly here he was again, appearing at the back door of the pub with his catch of the day. Like his father before him, Jack was a fisherman and knew the waters of the Sound of Jura like the back of his hand. The sight of him walking up the path, his blond hair wild from the sea air, had made Emily’s day. She’d tried very hard to concentrate on whatever she was supposed to be doing in the kitchen, prepping vegetables or making puddings, but it became increasingly difficult as Jack’s visits became more frequent. They’d linger at the back door talking until she was called away, usually by Pam, who missed nothing.
Eventually, Jack had summoned up the courage to ask Emily out on a date and on her night off had taken her to a nearby cove that could only be reached by water. There, Jack had set up a small fire in the sand and together they’d cooked fresh scallops in butter and eaten them, alongside small drams of whisky, overlooking the setting sun as it disappeared behind the Jura, the iodine flavours filling their mouths. After that night, they’d returned to the cove as often as they could to sit and talk, eat and, by the end of the summer, make love. Emily had never been happier.
When Jack was offered a job on a bigger fishing boat, one that would take him away for weeks at a time, she was devastated. But she knew he had to take the job sooner or later and so, with her blessing, he left and life in Tayvallich seemed to lose its colour for Emily. She couldn’t really talk to her parents about it – they didn’t even know she had a boyfriend – but Pam took her aside soon after Jack had left and told her that no matter how impossible it might seem to Emily, she would one day feel better, and it wouldn’t hurt quite this much forever.
To begin with, Emily didn’t believe her. If anything, the pain got worse. But, one day, Jim came and found her in the kitchen, asking if he could have a word. He told her to go and sit at one of the tables in the empty restaurant and said he’d bring her a coffee. When he joined her at the table, he had a copy of a newspaper tucked under his arm. Jim set the coffee down in front of her, a double espresso with a dash of hot milk, just as he knew she liked it.
‘Listen, I’ve got an idea,’ said Jim, ‘and before you interrupt me, just hear me out.’
Emily had nodded and sipped her coffee, wincing as the hot liquid hit her tongue.
Jim had put the paper on the table and pointed to an advert he’d circled in red pen. ‘There’s a job going at a hotel in Oban, and I think you should go for it.’
She’d looked at him, her eyes wide. ‘But… don’t you need me here?’
‘Yes, we do. It will be awful without you. Pam and I will miss you terribly. But you’re too good to stay here. You need to move on. Like Jack.’
Emily had felt her cheeks redden at the mention of his name. ‘What did Pam tell you?’
‘She didn’t need to tell me anything. You knew he had to take that job and the same goes for you. You’re too young to stay here forever if you really want to do what you love. And, Emily, you are a brilliant cook. Seriously, a natural. But I’ve taught you all I can. You need someone else to take you on now, help you get even better. Otherwise, you’ll be stuck here with us. I know right now you think this job is enough for you, but it isn’t. Which is why I want you to go for this one.’ He had tapped the newspaper with his finger again, pointing to the advert. He turned it towards her.
Emily had craned her neck to read it. She recognised the name of the hotel, knowing some of the tourists who came to Tayvallich had stayed there. From what she knew, it was one of the largest in the town, set back on a hill to one side overlooking the harbour. ‘But I haven’t had any formal training, they’ll never take me.’
Jim picked up his coffee cup. ‘They will. I know the head chef there, worked with her years ago back when we were both making our way in the world. Anyway, I spoke to her and told her what you’ve been doing here. She’s agreed to see you. Next week, actually.’
‘But I’m not ready! What about my parents?’
‘The job’s not to start next week. Just go and see her for an interview.’
‘Yes but…’ Emily sighed. Her parents had always talked as if her going to university was a given, but she knew this was what she really wanted to do. She’d just never had the courage to tell them. But suddenly a door she hadn’t anticipated had opened and, with Jack leaving, she knew, deep down, she needed to get out too. Staying here would feel like staying stuck and that wasn’t going to help her, no matter how much she loved the place.
She’d moved to Oban the following month, having got the job and found a place to live all within a matter of days. Telling her parents had been much harder than she’d imagined, their faces falling when she admitted she didn’t want to go to college or university or whatever it was they’d hoped she might do. They knew Emily loved working in the pub, but both had assumed it was just a summer job, not something she’d want to continue doing and certainly not as a career. But no matter how much she told them it was what she loved doing and that she had a real opportunity to get better at doing it, she could tell they thought it wouldn’t last, or worse, that it wasn’t a proper job.
Emily had left her parents under slightly strained circumstances, taking just a few small bags with her to start her new life in Oban. But it was what had happened just a few years afterwards that had really taken a toll on their relationship.
As Emily stood on the doorstep of her parents’ house in the bright summer sun, a box of home-made brownies pinched from the hotel in her hand, she was instantly transported back through the years to her last summer there. The smell of the sea hung lightly in the air, the familiar cry of the gulls overhead rang in her ears. She knocked gently on the door, watching the shifting shape behind the frosted glass move slowly towards her.
‘Hi, Mum.’ Emily moved forward to hug her mother, a little shocked at how much older she looked than the last time she’d been home, a fleeting visit just before Christmas. It was as if her mother had aged five years in a matter of months. ‘How’s the patient?’
‘He’s through there. And driving me nuts already.’ Her mother winked at her. ‘Go on in, he’ll be so pleased to see you.’
Emily popped her bag down on the floor and went through to the sitting room to find her father in his usual chair by the window, overlooking the harbour. He too looked much older than she remembered, not helped by the purple bruise on the side of his face. ‘Oh Dad, you poor thing!’ She bent down to hug him gently. ‘What were you doing up a ladder, for heaven’s sake?’
‘Oh, stop it, you sound like your mother. It was just a fall. Could have happened to anyone.’ Her father waved her concern away, his blue eyes glinting.
‘Yes, but you shouldn’t have been up there in the first place.’ Emily took a seat next to him. ‘So, why did they keep you in?’
‘Oh, just a precaution. I think they have to be extra careful with old codgers like me.’ Her father laughed his low laugh. ‘So, come on, how are things at the hotel?’
Emily’s mother came in with a tray with tea and sandwiches, setting it down on the small table in front of them. They sat and talked while taking in the view of the harbour in front of them. It took less than five minutes for them to ask if Emily had met anyone, but instead of feeling immediately cross as she normally did, she saw them differently in that moment; two people getting old who wanted her to be happy. The fact they equated that with her not being single was something she would just have to let go.
