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‘Not yet, Mum. Maybe one day.’ Emily shrugged and smiled, helping herself to another sandwich.
22
‘Are you sure we can’t persuade you to stay for some dinner with us? You’ve come a long way to see us.’ The ruddy-faced man sitting opposite Stella smiled across the desk at her. They were in a small office in a business centre in Glasgow, the unremarkable headquarters of the wholesaler she’d been to visit. The meeting had gone well, enough for them to want to carry on the conversation and talk about plans for Star Pots once listed, but Stella shook her head, smiling back.
‘Thank you, that’s really kind, but I’m heading to Oban on the train now. I’m staying on Mull tonight.’
The man’s face lit up. ‘Really? Oh well, you’d better get going. Such a beautiful journey, one of the best in Scotland, I have to say.’
Stella went to put her laptop away in her bag. ‘Yes, I’ve got a taxi back to the station and I’m hoping to make the last ferry to Mull. It leaves at eight o’clock tonight.’
The man looked at his watch again. ‘You’re cutting it fine, but you should be all right. Make sure you pick a seat on the left-hand side of the train, by the way. Best views are on that side.’
‘Thank you so much for seeing me, I’ll get the proposal over to you for in-store support as discussed and we can take it from there.’
‘Great, I look forward to it.’ He stretched out his hand and shook Stella’s enthusiastically. ‘Thanks again for making the journey up here, we really appreciate it. And it was great to meet you in person. You’ve built a fantastic business there with Star Pots.’
Stella’s heart swelled a little. ‘Thank you, we think so too.’
As the taxi took her back into the city centre over the Clyde towards the station, Stella glanced out of the window, taking in the grand Victorian architecture and the graffiti-lined boards surrounding building sites. She made her way to her train, picking up a sandwich on the way, and found herself a seat on the left-hand side as she’d been told. The train wasn’t busy, so she was able to put her bag on the seat next to her and settle in. Stella opened her laptop, thinking she might start work on the wholesaler’s proposal, given that it was fresh in her mind, but once the train started moving, she found herself leaning her head against the window, watching the unfamiliar landscape pass by.
The city’s buildings soon gave way to the houses of the suburbs and then, before long, a landscape so beautiful Stella couldn’t take her eyes away from it. The route took her alongside lochs, the waters so still they reflected the sky above and the mountains sloping down behind them almost perfectly. The train rattled on, passing through stations that seemed to belong to another time entirely, hugging the shores of lochs so enormous Stella couldn’t make out where they ended. A huge mountain came into view, dwarfing everything around it. Then they passed through moors and, Stella noted, there wasn’t a road in sight. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d been so far away from anyone, anything. And instead of her mind rushing with the thoughts that normally took up all available space, she realised her head felt clear, as if given space to just be. To see and not have to do. She imagined staying on the train forever, just moving through the landscape, watching the sky change from clear to cloudy and back again as the hours passed by.
Stella’s phone vibrated gently on the table in front of her and she turned it over to see a message from Max on the screen asking where his football boots were. She looked at the time, realising the children would be home from school now. She tapped out a reply, telling him where they were and asking if he was being good for Grandpa and Susie. He replied with a thumbs up and a sunglasses emoji. She said she’d call later when she had a better signal to say goodnight to everyone and signed off with a string of kisses.
As the train snaked its way towards its final destination, it stopped just outside the town. A voice informed the passengers they’d been held at a signal and should be on the move again soon, arriving in Oban ten minutes later than scheduled. Stella collected up her belongings and checked her ferry booking. Even if she missed the one she was hoping to catch, she would still make the last ferry of the day and be on Mull just before nine o’clock. Enough time, she hoped, to get to the hotel.
The train moved off again and slowly pulled into the station right on the waterfront, opposite the ferry terminal. By now, the sky had darkened, covered with thick grey clouds. She could see the ferry moving across the bay and out towards the islands beyond. She looked across the bay to the town, the seafront lined with imposing hotels. To the north sat another huge quay, the red roofs of the buildings on it stark against the grey sky. Behind, the hills were thick with trees interspersed with large grey stone villas and just above the town, a round stone mini Colosseum sat looking somehow out of place and quite at home all at the same time.
Stepping off the train, she made her way towards the terminal to check she could get on the next crossing and with that done decided to follow the road round to the south of the bay in search of somewhere to sit and take in the view for a while. Spotting a sign for a footpath to a viewing point, she followed the road and then a path, steep enough to have a handrail. The path led her, behind a row of houses and up to the top of the hill, where she came out, a little breathless, onto an open grassy space with benches dotted along the fence overlooking the bay. She looked down to her right to Oban below, the hills stretching into the distance behind the town. On the other side lay the islands, Mull rising up behind a smaller island in front.
Stella took a seat on an empty bench and looked towards Mull. She thought about what she was hoping to find, realising with a jolt of surprise that she hadn’t thought about Simon all day. She’d been so consumed with the journey she’d taken, the meeting, the landscape that she’d passed through to get here, that she’d almost forgotten the reason she was here. Thinking about it now, realising that she might just come face to face with the woman who could perhaps tell her something she didn’t know about her husband made her feel slightly sick.
The clouds started to slowly part, breaking up in the sky above her and letting the sunlight through onto the land and sea below. She watched the colours change from grey to shades of orange and pink as the sun slipped across the sky. She imagined what she might say if she did find Emily at the hotel, trying to run the conversation through in her head. But every time she thought about it, she realised how crazy it sounded.
She shook her head and smiled to herself. No wonder the girls from book club had looked at her like she was mad when she’d told them her plan. Still, looking at the view that lay below, she knew it had been worth the journey to see this alone.
Stella glanced at her watch and took one last look at the bay. Her mind felt clear up here.
Walking back down, she turned off the footpath a little way down the hill and took a different road back towards the town. The roads were quiet here, not a soul in sight. She passed a beautiful Georgian building, a small hotel with what she imagined must be some of the best views of the bay. It was nearly half past seven in the evening and, for a moment, Stella contemplated knocking on the door to ask if they had a room for the night. The idea of curling up on a bed with a view of the sea, perhaps after having a light supper in her room, before getting a good night’s sleep was tempting. But she’d come too far, literally, not to see this through.
Following the road back towards the town, Stella walked into the ferry terminal and took a seat while she waited to board the ferry she’d watched come in. There were just a handful of other foot passengers waiting with her and they watched as passengers and cars disembarked from the ferry that would soon take them across the water. The waiting room emptied as people got up and made their way to the boat, but Stella stayed where she was. She closed her eyes and took a breath. She opened them to find the dipping sun had thrown an orange glow across the floor, flooding the room with light. Remember to face the sunshine. Lucy’s words came to her as if she was saying them to her right there and then. Stella stood and turned her face to the light, following the other passengers onto the ferry.
23
Emily sat on one of the red plastic chairs on the top deck of the ferry, the blanket she always kept in her car for this journey wrapped around her body to keep warm against the sea breeze. The sun was yet to set, but there was a definite chill in the evening summer air. As ever, she sat on the right-hand side for the first part of the journey so she could see the Lismore Lighthouse as they passed, then swapped to the other side for views of Duart Castle. Standing high on a promontory above the sea, the castle looked magnificent despite the scaffolding. It had been undergoing restorations for as long as Emily could remember, but it was still one of her favourite sights on the island, especially from the water.
Her mind ran back over the day she’d had. It had been a relief to see her father on much better form than she’d feared. Despite the bruising to his face, his spirits had been surprisingly high. He’d even talked about getting back out to finish cleaning the windows before the end of the week, an idea that had been met with a cry of disbelief from her mother.
‘You’ll be doing no such thing,’ she had snapped, before turning to her daughter asking for backup.
‘Dad, perhaps stick to ground-level activities for a while.’ Emily had lowered her voice. ‘For your own safety,’ she had said, winking at him.
After lunch, Emily and her mother had walked down to the shop together to pick up a few things. Seeing the harbour, the boats and houses she knew so well, Emily had felt a pang for her old life: growing up with her friends in the village, working in the pub, learning to cook, falling in love for the first time. Of course, her life back then had seemed terribly complicated, as is the teenage way. But now she could look back and see how lucky she’d been to grow up in such a beautiful place and she knew, no matter how much they sometimes drove her mad with their simplistic outlook on life, that her parents just wanted their daughter, their only child, to be happy.
Still, her father’s fall had been a cruel reminder that they were getting older. Emily was grateful they had each other. The thought of either of them on their own was almost unthinkable. Which, inevitably, made her consider her own situation. If she was really honest with herself, she knew that as happy as she was – and she really was – there were times when she did wish there was someone to share her life with. But it had been so long, she wasn’t sure she could remember how to do that. Part of her loved being able to do what she liked when she liked. But the truth was, she kept herself busy, working all the hours she could, so that she didn’t have a chance to feel lonely. As much as she loved her work, her long walks, her island friendships, Emily was starting to realise that maybe, just maybe, she was ready to fall in love again.
* * *
