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The woman turned to Emily. ‘I’m sorry, I didn’t want to say this while you were driving in case… Actually, it’s definitely going to… Sorry. I’ll just say it.’ She took another deep breath. ‘My name is Stella and I’m married to Simon.’
Emily looked at the woman. ‘Simon who?’
‘Simon Forest.’ She watched Emily’s face fall as the name registered.
Emily stared at Stella, an unmistakable look of shock on her face.
Stella forced herself to keep going, trying to keep her voice steady. ‘He’s gone and I don’t know where.’ Her shoulders dropped. ‘I don’t know why.’
Emily shook her head, trying to make sense of what she was hearing. ‘But… what do you think this has got to do with me? Is this why you’ve come here? You don’t think he’s here, do you?’
Stella realised in that instant the thought that he might be here hadn’t even crossed her mind. ‘No, really I didn’t. It’s not that. I just…’ Stella put her head in her hands, then looked at Emily. ‘I’m so sorry, I didn’t know what else to do. I didn’t see it coming. I just thought that maybe you could help me…’
Emily felt panic and anger all at once. ‘What the hell has it got to do with me? I haven’t seen him for years and I hope, really hope, I never see him again.’ Emily gripped the steering wheel. ‘I need some air.’ She opened the car door with some force and walked to the front of the car. She leaned against the bonnet, looking out towards the castle ruins ahead, then across to the mainland on the other side, the hills now dark against the indigo sky.
After a moment, Stella opened the car door and walked round to stand beside Emily. ‘I’m so sorry, I should have said as soon as you offered me a lift. But I panicked. In my head, this trip had become something much bigger than it should have been. This was the part when you’d tell me he’s done this disappearing act in the past and it’s not just me he’s abandoned. I think that’s what I was hoping for. That there was no way I could have known and perhaps then I’ll be able to forgive myself for marrying him in the first place. Forgive myself for what I’ve put my kids and my family through. Because at the moment I can’t ever imagine forgiving myself for loving him.’ Stella bit her lip to stop the tears from falling. ‘I’m so sorry, this really isn’t your problem and now I’m here…’ Stella shrugged, laughing nervously, ‘I can see this was a very stupid thing to do.’
There was a long pause.
Emily sighed and turned to Stella. ‘You’re not stupid, Stella. But if we’re going to talk about this, we need to do it properly. Come on, let’s go.’ Emily motioned for Stella to get back in the car.
24
They drove on towards Tobermory, strangers bound together by a man they both knew. Joni sang about the hissing of summer lawns as each of them wondered what the other might say. The silence wasn’t uncomfortable; rather it was as if they both realised the conversation ahead of them had to happen, just not yet.
Emily turned the car down a road leading to the seafront and parked by a small clock tower, opposite a shop. ‘Stay here, I won’t be a moment.’
Stella looked out across the water at the fishing boats swaying gently, tethered to their buoys, and up ahead, a row of picture-perfect houses painted in primary colours sat overlooking the harbour. She thought about following Emily to ask if she could at least buy whatever it was she was getting by way of saying thank you – or sorry – but she heard Emily’s voice, talking to someone just outside the shop. Stella looked back to see Emily hug a woman, waving back at her as she crossed the street.
The car door opened and the sound of glass bottles clanking together came from the tote bag Emily put on the floor on the seat behind Stella.
‘Right, home.’ Emily waved to the woman again as they drove off.
‘Who’s that?’
‘Jeanie runs the post office here, I’ve known her for years. I was just asking about her husband, he’s not been well. He’s the local taxi driver, as well as running the post office with her. That’s how I knew your chances of getting a taxi tonight were slim to none. He’s been ill for a while, poor thing. They’re such a lovely couple.’
Emily turned left just before the bright red house and then climbed the hill out of Tobermory. Soon, they were back on a single-track road taking them away from the coast and across open moors towards the northern tip of the island. The road swept up and down steep hills, through woods and alongside streams, the landscape open and wild. Then, after taking a sharp right turn on the road, a drive marked with white gates came into view, a sign for the hotel to one side.
Emily turned to Stella. ‘I can take you straight up to the castle, or, if we’re really going to talk this out, we can go to my cottage instead. I can call and let them know you’re here. Up to you.’
Stella looked straight ahead, music still drifting out of the car stereo. ‘Can we go to yours?’
‘We can.’ Emily drove on up the drive and as they rounded the corner, the land dropped away to reveal the castle set against the dark sky. Below, the sea stretched to the mainland and yet more islands in the distance.
Stella gasped. ‘Oh wow, it’s so beautiful.’
‘My house isn’t quite so grand, just to warn you.’ Emily turned off the track, down a smaller one to her cottage, the sight of which never failed to lift Emily’s heart. ‘But it’s home.’ Emily parked the car and turned off the engine. ‘Come on in.’ She got out and went on ahead towards the front door. ‘Beware of the dog,’ she called back to Stella, who’d followed her up the path. ‘He gets terribly overexcited when he meets new people.’ She called out to him, and as soon as the door opened, Bertie was dancing around Emily’s legs, wagging his tail so fast, Stella thought he might topple over. ‘Hello, boy,’ said Emily, rubbing his head with her free hand.
‘He’s lovely, what’s his name?’
Bertie shifted his attention to Stella, tail still wagging furiously.
‘Bertie. I left him with Margaret and her dogs.’
‘Margaret?’
‘The owner of the castle. I’m sure you’ll meet her. She’s amazing and has run this place as a hotel since her husband died. Come on in, sit down.’ Emily turned on some sidelights and closed the curtains, then gestured to the armchair by the fire. ‘I’ll light that in a minute, let me just ring up to the hotel.’ She went through to the kitchen, leaving Stella in the sitting room.
