Page 54 of This Is Us


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‘You don’t have to. But I’m hoping it’s helped in some way, so you can move on or whatever. Not that I’m one to really talk about moving on.’ Emily cradled her coffee cup, looking out across the sea.

‘How about we both agree to stop giving ourselves a hard time over Simon?’ Stella stretched her legs out in front of her. ‘I’ve spent so long thinking about him, about what happened. Seriously, it’s been like a full-time occupation since he left. And I don’t want to do that any more. I’m exhausted by it. Talking to you has made me realise we were on a hiding to nothing. This is Simon’s doing. So instead of spending any more time wondering what I should have done differently, or what I did wrong, or what I didn’t do…’ Stella looked across at Emily, ‘I’m going to leave here remembering how I feel right now. And that is ready to live again. Happily, without him. If I can do that, you have to promise me that you’ll not just hide away here forever. In fact, I want you to come and visit us in London. Not that it’s a patch on this place, but we could go to some lovely restaurants, see some sights. I’ll definitely have to take you to some of the food markets, I think you’d love it.’

Emily smiled at her new friend. She held her tin mug up. ‘To moving on.’

Stella raised hers to meet it. ‘To moving on.’

They sat for a few moments, then Emily stood up and held out her hand to take Stella’s now empty mug. ‘Right, we’d better get going, I don’t want you to miss that ferry.’

As they walked back up towards the castle, Emily told Stella a potted version of Margaret’s story and Stella vowed to come back again one day with the children, thinking how much they’d love it.

Driving back along the road to Tobermory, they talked easily. Stella asked about the boy Emily had mentioned the night before, the one who first broke her heart. Emily told her about the fisherman, how she’d tasted her first malt whisky on that beach. In turn, Emily asked about Stella’s life back in London, listening with interest as Stella talked about her father, stepmother and sister and her friends. Emily loved the sound of Stella’s book club; the fact that they’d only ever managed to all finish the same book at the same time once had made her laugh.

The women pulled up at the ferry terminal just in time to watch the ferry dispatch its latest batch of day trippers on to the island. Emily got out of the car and grabbed Stella’s bag from the back seat. Bertie sat up as Stella gave him one last rub behind the ears.

Emily handed Stella her belongings.

‘Thank you so much. I can’t even… I don’t know what to say, other than thank you.’ Stella dropped her bag at her feet and hugged Emily.

‘Well, for what it’s worth, you’ve helped me too. And I’m really glad you came, even if it was a little bonkers.’ Emily hugged her back just as hard.

Stella laughed. ‘I’m sorry, it was a little left-field but…’ she sighed, ‘I’m so glad I found you.’

‘I’m glad you found me too.’ Emily smiled. ‘Now go or you’ll miss your ride.’

Stella waved from the top deck of the ferry before Emily got into her car and swept the car round back onto the road, waving out of the window as she drove away.

Stella took a seat on one of the red plastic chairs at the back of the boat, watching the island recede in the distance. After a while, she picked up her bag and moved to a seat at the front, facing forwards. She thought about the previous evening, silently thanking the universe for making hers and Emily’s paths cross as they had done. Of course, she wished she’d known about what had happened with Simon and Emily before now, but she knew that wasn’t how life worked. It was time to stop waiting for him to come back, saying he’d made a terrible mistake. In fact, the mistake had been falling in love with him in the first place. And now she knew she wasn’t the only one.

26

‘Well, how did it go?’ Caroline’s voice crackled down the phone as Stella watched the passing landscape through the train window.

Stella lowered her voice, despite having the carriage to herself. ‘Really well. Although,’ she closed her eyes for a moment, ‘I still can’t believe I went.’

‘So, what happened?’

‘I found Emily before I even got to the island, turns out we were on the same ferry. She’d been back to see her parents on the mainland.’

‘Wait, you didn’t just go up to her?’

‘No, she saw me at the bus stop. Knew I’d be there until morning unless she gave me a lift.’

‘Seriously?’

‘I know. Weird. I couldn’t bring myself to say anything at first, then I blurted it all out and thought she might leave me at the roadside. Thankfully, she didn’t. In fact, we sat up until late talking and, honestly, Caroline, it felt like talking to an old friend rather than a complete stranger.’

‘What did she have to say about Simon?’

‘Quite a lot, as it turns out. I’ll fill you in properly when I see you, but basically, it’s not the first time he’s done this. Which, even though it doesn’t fix anything, makes me feel like I know more about what I’m dealing with here. Or rather, who I’m dealing with. It just makes me wonder why I didn’t see him for what he is.’

‘Listen, Stella, none of this mess is your fault. And, anyway, you are clearly far better off without him.’

‘I know that now, but it doesn’t make it that much easier. I’m worried about the children, about coping on my own – even though I know how lucky I am to have you all. It’s going to be hard and that’s before I’ve even thought about what happens when he does finally resurface.’

‘Let’s worry about that when it happens.’ Caroline’s voice was calm, reassuring. ‘Listen, I’ll let you go, but just to say, I spoke to Susie this morning and everything’s fine at home. I’m not sure your children have eaten anything but pizza for three days though.’

‘I left them loads of stuff in the fridge…’

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