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Chapter 14
Mikel
Mikel had let her walk out of his truck without a word. He’d had a piece-of-shit day, and he needed to make a run. It was his own weakness and negligence that had made his two worlds collide, leaving Remy to witness it. Why hadn’t he known better?
Because I needed a fix.
Whether she knew it or not, she deserved the space to really think things through, and he’d give it to her.
The week came and went. He didn’t stop into the bakery in the mornings like usual.
Friday night, he sighed and rubbed the back of his neck, his muscles sore from a long day at work.
“You wanna meet up at The Shipwreck?” Andre asked, putting his toolbox in the back of his truck.
“Sure. I got some shit to do and then I’ll stop by.”
“You okay?” Andre asked.
“Yeah. Why wouldn’t I be?” he lied. If Remy told Dre what she’d seen, her brother would probably kill him.
“You’ve been quiet all week. Everything okay with you and my sister?”
His chest squeezed. His traitorous body just wanted to be near her again, but it was better for her if he stayed away.
“Why wouldn’t it be?”
Andre shrugged. “You both look like your dog died.”
Anguish sluiced through his rib cage. Remy was in pain and he’d caused it. “Just got a lot on my mind.”
“Well, come have a few beers with me and forget it for a little while,” Andre said, getting into his truck.
“Will do.”
His friend drove off as Mikel climbed into his vehicle. All he wanted was a hot shower and to go to bed, wrapped around Remy’s soft curves. But that was why they called it a fantasy—because it wasn’t really going to happen.
Mikel shifted into gear and drove towards the address he’d come to know all too well.
* * *
Mikel hated himself for what he had to do to survive and keep his family safe. But this was his life.
“I’ll have it next week. Tell Joe I promise. I swear I’m getting some money in from my aunt, but she doesn’t get paid until Friday. I’ll have the cash then.”
Mikel pulled back his fist as the balding man winced. The stink of fear on this man was almost as rancid as the self-disgust on Mikel’s tongue.
If Remy ever saw me like this …
“You better have every fucking penny or I’ll be back to finish the job,” Mikel threatened.
He hadn’t had to do it yet, but Lou Barrenger was the closest he’d come. A compulsive gambler who’d borrowed money from the wrong loan shark. Usually, if Mikel beat them hard enough, they’d do anything short of robbing a bank to get the funds. Lou must have had a death wish, because Mikel’d had to visit him more often than all the others.
There is a special place in hell for people like me.As long as he did Joe’s bidding, heroin deliveries and debt collecting, his family was safe, and he wouldn’t land in prison for the life he had taken.
“I will,” Lou promised for the umpteenth time. As if his word was any good.
Mikel unclenched his fist and dropped his hand to his side as the man cowered below him. “For both our sakes, I hope you do.” He crouched low, looking the terrified man in the eyes. “Whether you do or don’t get the cash, you better leave the state and never come back.” I don’t want to kill you. He hoped the man would value his life enough to listen.
Lou looked up at him, understanding flashing in his eyes. He nodded vigorously. “I will.”
Mikel stood and wiped his fist on his shirt, leaving a smear of red behind. He tore off the bloodstained tee before throwing it in his truck.
He drove home with the windows down, letting the crisp fall air numb his skin, much like his insides. When he made it home, he threw his shirt in the trash and headed for his bedroom.
Lifting up the lamp on his bedside table, he pulled the bag of pills out before swallowing three and heading for the shower.
The hot spray of water was damn near scalding on his cold flesh. He grit his teeth and sunk to his knees. Everything felt so heavy. Everything hurt. Remy’s beautiful face popped into his mind, radiating sunlight and warmth until it spread over every dark and empty area within him. She enabled him to feel something besides pain. Remy was a gift as potent as his first high, only it lasted longer with her. He needed her. Too bad a man like him was only good at one thing—causing people pain.
