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“A man ran into Mikel’s truck and Remy was driving. We’re waiting on the news from the doctor,” Bently explained.
Tilda came out, tears rolling down her brown cheeks.
“What is it? Is she okay, Mom?” Andre asked as the three men stood.
Mikel held his breath and searched her face for any sign that he hadn’t fucked this up for her.
Tilda eyed him, flames of righteous anger in her gaze as she nodded. “She will be okay.”
“And the baby?” Mikel asked, terrified of the answer. Shit, has Remy told her mom?
Andre’s gaze hardened as he stared at him. “What baby?”
“Andre, now is not the time.” Tilda put her hand on her son’s arm. “Remy wants to talk with you, Mikel,” she gritted out.
He nodded, putting one shaky foot in front of the other. The heavy weight knowing that whatever was said when he walked into her room would change his life forever descended on him.
Tilda led him to a room partitioned off with curtains. Mathew, Remy’s father, sat holding his daughter’s hand. Mikel avoided his eyes. There were only two things he would find in them: disappointment and anger. What nobody knew was that no matter how much rage they had for him, it would be nothing compared to the hatred he carried in his tattered black heart for himself.
“Can we have some privacy?” Remy asked quietly. Mathew tensed as his stare bored into Mikel. “Please, Daddy. Just a few minutes.”
Mathew leaned and kissed her forehead, his expression softening. Her father walked over and stood in front of Mikel, forcing him to face him as he placed his arm around Tilda’s shoulders. “I trusted you with one of the most precious people in my life and this is how you treated her?”
Mikel looked down, ashamed.
Tilda spoke to Remy. “We’ll be right outside if you need us.”
Mikel took in the sight of Remy, hooked up to lines and tubes. The wound on her head was bandaged. She was curled up into a ball on her side, staring at nothing on the wall.
He moved to the empty seat. Her expression was drawn, empty, as silent tears poured from her eyes. He knew it then. She lost the baby.
“Remy,” he said, wet streaks pouring down his face. He was at the bottom of the barrel, lower than he had ever been. Seeing the light dim in those deep brown eyes was his biggest torment.
“Just hold me for a little while.” Her voice seemed so small and distant.
He climbed in next to her, wrapping his arms around her.
She gripped his shirt, taking a deep breath. “If I close my eyes, I can pretend we’re under the stars that night at the Black Cliffs. I wished for you on every star I could find that night. I wished for your happiness, for you to mend and heal—for your secrets not to eat you alive. I wished that you would feel my love, and see yourself the way I saw you.”
He trembled, the saltiness of his tears dripping into his mouth. “Why would you waste that on me?”
She nuzzled closer into his chest, against his heart. “Because you are worth it. I thought maybe someday you would see that, see the good you have to offer. I told you I would do anything, be anything for you. I guess … I’m a liar.”
Remaining silent, he let her say her piece. She believed her words, but there was no way she was in his league. Seeing her question her worth was just another nail in the coffin. She was perfect just the way she was; the realization that she’d been changing and trying to mold into what she thought he needed made his stomach roil. He’d known this day was coming. He’d sensed the end before they began.
“I have nothing left to give you. I can’t keep doing this. The lies, the broken promises. The sight of her in your arms. I can still smell her on you.” She pushed him away and pulled him closer all at once.
He clung to her, knowing this was the last time he would ever get to hold her like this. This is our goodbye. “I know I fucked everything up, baby. Loving you was the only honest, the only good thing I’ve ever done in my life. I’m sorry I was too selfish to leave you alone. If I could take it all back, I would. I would trade every moment with you to save you one ounce of this pain.”
She shuddered and looked up at him, her bloodshot eyes lit with a spark of hope amidst the chaos of loss and grief, and his betrayal. “Go to rehab. Please. Come back when you’re done. I’ll wait for you.”
His chest tightened, emotion clutching at his heart. Her words sent daggers piercing through his flimsy armor.
I believe in you.
Failure.
You have good in you.
