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“I’d feel the same way in your position, but only for one reason,” she said, her mind racing and her heart pounding. That wasn’t just guilt over wanting to murder his own flesh and blood glinting in his eyes. It was failure.
“What reason?”
“If someone I loved, someone I was supposed to protect, did it instead.” She searched his eyes for the answer.
His gaze flashed as he sat straighter. His head bowed forward as if his body was subconsciously nodding in confirmation. “Do you think I’m a monster?”
She shook her head. “Not even close.”
“I failed them. I was all they had to protect them and I fucked it up. The very woman who was supposed to have unconditional love for us left us to a wolf. That monster happened to be my father.”
“I’m really sorry that you had to go through that. It isn’t fair. It isn’t okay. And it’s absolutely terrible that you were put in that position.” She said the words she had once longed to hear. She was able to empathize and validate his feelings.
He swallowed and nodded. “Thank you.”
“Do you feel better? After sharing this with me?” Belle asked.
Bently blinked and took a deep breath. “I feel . . . exhausted.”
“Understandably.” She glanced at the clock. The hand ticked toward eleven. “Talking about past trauma is emotionally draining.”
“I just wanted . . . I hoped that by telling you this, you’d understand that when I realized you were in danger, I freaked out. I thought . . . I couldn’t let you get hurt too because of me.” His thumb grazed over her wrist, soothing her with his gentle touch.
“I want to forgive you, Bently. But I told you that if you let me walk out, that I couldn’t keep going back and forth like this.” She pulled her hand to her lap and cleared her throat. As much as her heart broke for this man, as much as her body craved his touch, she needed to stand up for herself. She had her own demons in her past, and becoming like her mother, giving in to a man while having to sacrifice parts of herself was not going to happen.
“I know, baby. I’m so sorry.” He sounded utterly broken.
She straightened her shoulders and lifted her chin, tears welling in her eyes. “I need someone who will be with me when life gets hard as well as the good times. Someone who will sit in the pain with me and be my rock when I fall apart. Who understands why it’s hard for me to get out of bed some days. Who won’t make decisions for me. Someone to be my partner in all things. I need a man who can love me, and let me love him in return.” Fat droplets splashed over her cheeks. Tears of hope and regret. Of choosing the right thing for herself regardless of how much it hurt.
I’m not like her. I’m stronger.
Bently pushed off his seat and her heart froze. This is when he walks out the door for good.
Instead of standing, he knelt in front of her, taking her hands in his as he stared into her eyes. Emotion fell in teardrops from his own pained gaze. “If you give me the chance I don’t deserve, if you let me try one more time, I promise I’ll do everything in my power to be that man. I promise that rather than turning away, I’ll face my fears. Instead of pushing you in the opposite direction, I’ll hold on to you.”
Her hands trembled in his as his beautiful promises grated from his lips, like he was digging to the depths of his soul to find the courage to voice them.
“I love you, Angel. You’re the one good, pure thing in my life that’s just for me. Let me spend the rest of my life making things up to you. Let me love you and show you that love every single day. I’m in this, with my whole heart. It’s all yours—you’ve had it since that first day you stole my breath away. You consume my thoughts, and take up all the space I never knew I had in here.” He tapped on his hard chest. “If you need me to love you from afar, as much as it will kill me to do that, I will. Whatever you need, it’s yours,” Bently finished, looking in her eyes.
Belle choked on a sob. Could this be real? Could she give him another chance? Could she really have her happily-ever-after?
He’s safe.
He waited, vulnerable and patient, gazing at her as if he cherished and adored her.
She reached out her hand to his cheek, the jolt of electricity burning brighter than a thousand suns. “I love you too—I tried not to. But I can’t stop. You’re impossible not to love.” Her voice cracked, as hope burned in those blue eyes staring back at her. “I want you to be that man, Bently. But I can’t go through this again.”
He flinched as if her words had been a physical assault. He nodded solemnly and looked down. “I understand.”
No, you don’t. That much was clear. She took his face in both hands, forcing his attention to her once again. “So, don’t fuck this up. You get scared, tell me. You want to run, tell me. You want to push me away . . .”
“Tell you,” he finished.
“Can you do that? Can you communicate with me?” she asked.
He nodded. “Yes.”
“Will you speak to a therapist? Regularly?” she asked. He had to have help for the trauma, and therapy had been beneficial to her healing. She couldn’t be with a man who thought seeking help was showing weakness. This was her test. Would he do this for his own good?
