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Flashes came back of that dark bar. Those grey eyes had burned her skin with awareness, making it clear exactly what he’d wanted from her before he’d ever even offered to buy her a drink.
“He was just a guy from a bar. We never exchanged names, just . . . body fluids.”
“Thanks for the mental image,” Emma said and laughed. “Is he hot?”
Jasmine rolled her eyes. “On a one-to-ten scale, he’s an eleven.”
“Damn, girl. So, how can this godlike man not recognize you? Tell me it was something kinky like a sex party with masks.”
Jasmine laughed. Only Emma could take a subject like this and turn it into something to laugh about. “It was less than ten minutes in a bathroom and I never saw him again . . . until today.”
“Was it a good ten minutes?” Emma asked.
Jasmine blew out through her nose. “It was . . . okay.” Achieving orgasm with a partner was pretty rare for her. Zoey’s father hadn’t been one of those unicorn moments.
“Hot but not great in the sack. Got it. Well, we can’t all be perfect. Maybe you should try sleeping with a woman; I’ve never not had an orgasm with a woman. With guys, it’s fifty-fifty.”
“I wish I could be sexually attracted to a woman.” They seemed safer.
“Okay, so maybe it is a good thing your baby daddy is back in your life,” Emma suggested.
Jasmine paced back and forth over the long porch. “How exactly?”
“You can get to know him and see if he’s a decent guy. Maybe Zoey can have her dad in her life after all.”
Jasmine stopped, a rush of dizziness spinning though her head. She sat on the ground with her head lowered to her knees. “I’m scared. What if he tries to take her from me? What if he says I’m a bad mom? What if—”
“What if he’s a great father? What if Zoey could have two parents in her life? What if he can help provide for her and take some of that stress off you?”
Jasmine blinked back more tears. She hated showing her emotions like this, but that was something else that motherhood had changed. She couldn’t hide anymore.
Emma had a point. Jasmine wouldn’t let fear stand in the way of Zoey’s chances of happiness. If Atlas was a good father, and she didn’t try, then she’d be robbing Zoey of something Jasmine herself had never had but always wanted. She couldn’t hold the man’s sexual history against him. After all, she’d done the same thing—more than once.
“You’re right. I’ll get to know him. I’ll see if he’s a safe person, observe how good he is with Zoey. Then I’ll tell him.”
“I’m here for you. Whatever you need,” Emma offered.
“Thank you. I appreciate it. Can you keep this between us for now? I don’t want Remy to find out just yet. She’ll tell Mikel and then—”
“And then you’ll have two big brothers and their best friend knocking on your door and getting into the middle of your business. I got you.”
Jasmine laughed. “They probably wouldn’t even knock. They’d bust the thing down.”
Emma giggled. “True. Well, I know they have your back, but I also respect your right as Zoey’s mother to do what you think is right.”
“You’re the best, Em.”
“Tell that to my stepbrother the next time you see him.” Emma laughed again, but this time it sounded forced.
“I’ll mention it to Link,” Jasmine promised. It was a hopeless cause, much to her friend’s dismay.
“Okay, well, I gotta get back. Almost done with this album and then I start my tour next week,” Emma said.
“I’m so happy that your dream is becoming a reality. Soon you’ll be too famous to be my friend.”
“Never!”
“Talk to you later.” Jasmine smiled.
“Love you, bitch.”
“You too.” Jasmine slipped the phone in her back pocket and got to her feet once more.
Taking a deep breath, she stared past the tall beach grass and rose hip bushes towards the expanse of green-blue waves. They crashed against the rocks to her left and licked the sandy coast to her right as the ocean tide worked its way in. She could do this. For Zoey, she’d do anything. If that meant giving her father a chance, she’d do it. And if it meant keeping who he was a secret for the rest of her time on earth, she’d do that too.
Because Zoey would not go through the shit she’d been through. Jasmine would work through the pain of the past so that her daughter didn’t have to have one-tenth of the trauma in her life that Jasmine had had. She’d protect her daughter, no matter what it took. Jasmine knew better than anyone that of all the people in a child’s life, the father figure could be the most dangerous.
