AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Help you forget what?” His fingertips burned into her hip.
The urge to tell him everything bubbled up. She hadn’t told anyone. Ever. She’d held it all inside. Not even her brothers knew it all. Only what Mikel had seen. But if she told Atlas, he’d never look at her the same. The desire in his eyes would turn to pity. The want that powered his grasp would release with disgust. He’d see how broken she really was.
His hands cupped her face as he searched her eyes, as if her secrets were hidden there. But it was all in vain because she kept them buried in the deepest darkest recesses of her soul. And even she didn’t go down there.
“What do you need to forget, baby?” he repeated.
She closed her eyes, unable to look into the same grey orbs that her daughter shared. Zoey was tucked safely in bed at her grandparents’. Tonight Jasmine would allow herself this dirty pleasure mixed with pain. She’d pay for it tomorrow. I always do.
“Everything. Help me forget everything,” she pleaded.
His forehead leaned against hers. His hot breath tickling against her mouth.
“You don’t know how much I’m tempted, beautiful. But even a blind man could see how you’re hurting. And you’re drunk. I won’t take advantage of you like that.”
She whimpered, the loss and rejection too much. Jasmine pulled away, but he held her firmly, wrapping her against his chest.
“When I make love to you, it’s gonna be when you’re sober. I want you to remember every single moment. And I want to know it’s what you really want.”
Fat droplets fell from her eyelashes, soaking his shirt. Tiny sobs wracked her body. But he only held on tighter.
No one had ever treated her like this. Cherished her. No man had ever turned down no-strings-attached sex before. They didn’t care about her mental state, nor her alcohol consumption. But not Atlas.
“Ssshhh. I got you. You can let go. I’m here to catch you,” he said, picking her up in his arms and carrying her over to the bed. The sheets smelled like him. The mattress dipped as he climbed in next to her, pulling her against his warm chest.
She had no idea how much time had passed, but eventually her tears dried. He gently stroked her hair. She relaxed into him, head pounding from the crying. But for once in her life, she felt safe. She’d hang on to that feeling however long it lasted. Safety had always been fleeting at best.
“Today’s my birthday,” she said.
His hand stilled. “I have a feeling you don’t want me to say ‘happy birthday.’”
She shook her head. “My mother killed herself seventeen years ago today.”
His grip tightened as he exhaled into her hair. “I’m sorry.”
“I don’t know why I’m telling you this. Maybe because I don’t want you to think I’m a total mess for no reason.”
He kissed her forehead and her heart melted.
“I’d never think that.”
If you only knew.
“Can I ask you a question?” His voice was like gravel.
She nodded.
“Who hurt you?”
Her breathing hitched. “That’s a long list.” And most were because she’d let them. Her own way of hurting herself—a sick attempt at redemption through pain.
Her eyes fluttered closed against his comforting chest, her breathing matching his. Drifting off, she said, “Please don’t hate me.”
“Why would I hate you?”
“Because of Zoey,” she answered.
Somewhere in her alcohol-hazed mind was a warning that she had just slipped up. But she couldn’t find it in her to care, because for the first time in her life, she felt completely safe in a man’s arms. She would worry about tomorrow when it came. Every single one of her actions had a negative consequence. And this time would be no different.
