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She shrugged off her coat and hung it before placing the bills on the counter to deal with later. “Are you hungry? Your mom dropped off some food.”
He shook his head, hanging his jacket and kicking off his boots. “I’m good.”
She looked at the couch. There were too many memories there. He must have read her mind because he took a seat at the table. She sat opposite him, nervously tapping her fingers against the wood.
“How have you been feeling?” he asked.
“Health-wise I’m fine.”
He nodded, licking his lips. “I . . . uh . . . I don’t know where to start or how to tell you this.”
Charli’s stomach twisted into a thousand intricate knots, her dinner threatening to make a reappearance. She held her breath. This is where he says he’s done and walks away.
“I’ve started seeing someone.”
Lightning striking her soul would have been less painful than those four words. Her eyes burned, and her lungs halted abruptly. Her chest caved in, destroyed by his confession. She clasped a hand over her mouth, hoping to hide the scream that threatened to finish the job his words had started and tear her into two.
41
Charli
“Jesus—no—that’s not what I meant. A therapist! I’m seeing a therapist. I mean, I’m going to therapy.” Finn held his hands out, seemingly recognizing the assumption Charli had jumped to.
Charli choked back a sob as she breathed a little easier. Her heart rattled and scraped with each pain-filled beat.
“Fuck. This is not how I wanted this to go.” Finn stood, raking a hand over his face before squeezing the back of his neck. He looked at her, brows drawn together in concern, eyes shining with too many emotions to read.
He got down on his knees, pulling her hands into his, turning her so her feet hung off the edge of the booth seat. “There has never been anyone else and there never will be.” His hoarse voice dripped with conviction.
“Your mom said you’d been out late the last few nights, and I thought—”
He sighed, shaking his head. “I was with Mason, Bently, and the guys. I . . . was asking for their help.”
“What?”
“Let me . . . start from the beginning.” He got back up and sat across from her once more. She was thankful for the table between them. She needed the little barrier to remind her that as much as she wanted their marriage to be repaired, she needed more.
“After I left, I called a therapist Mason had recommended. I’ve had three appointments this week. And I plan to go biweekly for the rest of the month. After that, I’ll still go, but maybe only once a week.”
He’d really gone? “How was it?”
“It . . . was hard. I . . . It’s hard for me to talk about my feelings, never mind to a stranger.”
He’d done it after all. She nodded.
“She asked me questions I never thought to ask myself. And I realized a lot of things. I see how my actions have hurt you, and I want you to know I take full responsibility for them.” He leveled his gaze on her.
“I appreciate that. And I’m sorry for any way I’ve hurt you.”
“I went back to my doctor at the VA and got a new prescription. I told him why I stopped the meds, and he recommended a different one.”
She nodded.
“I’m telling you all of this to let you know I heard you . . . I have been taking a good, hard look at myself and this life I’ve been living, and I realized I’m not happy.”
She winced. Finn’s truth had sharp edges.
“I think I’ve been trying to follow an old playbook and fit into this cookie-cutter mold of what I think my dad would want me to do, mixed with my own assumptions of what I should be for you. But I’m done with that.” Finn licked his lips.
