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Charli held her breath.
“I want to start over with a clean slate. I want to find out what you need from a husband and tell you what I need from my wife. And I want us to find a way to make this work. I’m gonna work on my communication. I’m gonna keep my word. I won’t be perfect, but I’ll be consistently better.” He reached out his hand, palm up on the table, his show of vulnerability silently asking if she would join him.
She hesitated. What if this was just part of the constant cycle they seemed to be lost in?
“I’m not asking you for anything you are not ready to give. I’ll wait as long as it takes to earn back your trust and prove to you every day how much I love you. I’d like to start by dating my wife.”
These damn tears never stopped. Fucking pregnancy. She wiped her face and reached out her hand to his. The gentle touch was a mix of pain and comfort. “It might be awhile. I don’t want to repeat this cycle again.”
“And I get that. I don’t either. Whether it’s a month or a year, however long it takes, I’m going to be better.”
“I want that too.”
The corner of his mouth turned up in a cautious smile as his eyes flashed with hope. “Would you be willing to go with me to my therapy appointment Monday evening? I saw neither of us are on the schedule at the bar.”
She nodded. “I can do that.”
“It’s supposed to snow this weekend, so I’ll pick you up in the Jeep.”
“Whose car is that?”
He shrugged. “We needed a bigger car with the baby coming. This one has four-wheel drive for the snow. I’ll be leaving it here for you and taking the Toyota back if that’s okay?”
“You bought me a car?”
“It’s safer for you and the baby,” he said carefully, like he was afraid she would get mad—when the opposite was happening.
Some of the ice around her heart melted. “I appreciate you thinking of us.”
He squeezed her hand a little more firmly. “Always.”
After another beat of silence, his gaze flicked to the entryway. He got to his feet, sighing. “I really don’t like you staying here alone.”
“I’m fine. I’m safe. You made sure this place is Fort Knox.”
“Maybe we should get you a dog?”
She laughed, and the sound felt foreign after the rough week she’d had. “I don’t need a little yippy thing peeing all over the house.”
He shrugged on his jacket before slipping on his shoes. “I was thinking more like a guard dog. Something big and protective.”
Like you? “We’ll see. I don’t think I could walk it every day, especially having to balance on the slick sidewalks with this big belly. I probably won’t be able to reach the water bowl in the next few weeks,” she joked.
His hand tipped her chin up to look at him. “I would take care of it for you.”
It would be one thing if you lived with me. But I’m not ready to let you back in just yet. “I’ll think about it.”
“Okay. I’ll see you later.”
“I’m back to work tomorrow.” She nodded.
He frowned. “Don’t you . . . I mean . . . we never talked about this, but do you plan on working up until the baby is born? Wouldn’t you rather stay off your feet and relax the rest of this pregnancy?”
The questioned stunned her. “I—uh—well, I think I’d go crazy staying home all day by myself. This week has been hard enough as it is. I want to keep busy.”
He waited a moment and then said, “If that’s what you want. Just know, you don’t have to work if you don’t want to. I’ll take care of you, even if . . . if I don’t move back in.”
Damn these hormones. No, she wouldn’t cry again. He was promising to love her from afar. To provide for her even if she didn’t let him back into her life. God, I love you so much. Why did this have to be so hard? She had to stay strong, for her and the baby, but also for him. “I appreciate the offer.”
