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34
Finn
Finn kissed Charli’s shoulder before he rolled over in bed, checking the time. Three in the morning. Sleep was yet again evading him. He turned back to his sleeping wife. She was curled on her side, hugging a monster of a pillow. She’d fallen asleep while he massaged her tonight, snoring lightly before he’d even finished. Guilt sunk in his stomach like a stone. She trusted him, and he was keeping a secret from her after he’d promised not to. But things were just starting to get good between them. He couldn’t remember what had actually happened. And for all he knew, he’d just blamed himself for not being there. Then why did I burn the journal?
He sat up, rubbing a hand over his face with a yawn. Exhaustion weighed heavily on his shoulders. Why can’t I sleep?
Finn tiptoed out of the room quietly. After slipping into the bathroom, he flicked the light on. He relieved himself and then opened the cabinet and removed the bottle of pills his doctor had prescribed that were supposed to help stabilize his moods. He shook his head. The only thing they did was make him numb. Maybe that’s why he couldn’t sleep. He tossed the bottle into the garbage bin and made his way down to the living room.
Stretching out on the couch, he picked up the book he’d been reading, What to Expect When You’re Expecting. After flipping the light on, he opened to where he’d left off.
Finished reading the chapter, he laid the book on his chest. It was amazing to understand the process of pregnancy and what changes were happening week by week. But to have his own wife going through it was extraordinary. Would his son have her eyes or his? Would Jamison have darker skin like his daddy? Or a mix of the two of them?
Daddy. I’m gonna be a father. The realization never got less exciting—tinged with terror. He closed his eyes, trying to imagine his son’s face.
“We could extend your trip another week and go see a buddy of mine in Oregon to catch some Dungeness crab,” Smithson said, turning to look at Finn from the driver’s side.
“Tempting offer. But I need to get back to Charli.”
“You know if I called her, she’d tell you to stay and enjoy yourself.” Smithson chuckled.
Finn laughed. “Yeah, that woman would do anything for me, even to her own detriment. Nah, working on her feet at the bar is getting harder for her the more pregnant she is. I need to go home to help her relax a little. Plus, I’m missing her something fierce.”
The words came out with a resounding warning blaring in his mind. He’d been here before. No—he was dreaming again. He turned to look at his friend, but instead of Smithson sitting in the driver’s seat, it was Charli. She had tears streaming down her face as she held a bundle in her arms. My son.
“Please, Finn. Help us!” she cried.
“Stop the truck, baby,” he pleaded, reaching out to her. But she was too far away.
She shook her head, eyes pleading. “I can’t. You’re the one driving.”
He turned, and sure enough the wheel was on his side of the car now. He pressed the brake as hard as he could, but nothing happened. His muscles were too weak, his body sluggish.
“Stop! Finn, Please!” Charli begged.
The baby in her arms wailed. Frantically, he stomped his foot on the brake. He knew what was coming next. He had to stop the car before—
Tires screeched. Glass crashed and shattered. The truck groaned on impact in an eerie metallic scream. They flipped.
“Charli!” He reached out for her, but his vision was darkening. His hand touched something wet and sticky. Drawing it back, he realized it was blood. The car was saturated in it.
“Charli!” he screamed.
Her head lay against the broken window, shards of glass embedded in the side of her face, terrified brown eyes locked on his. “You did this. It’s all your fault.”
“Charli! Baby! Nooooo!”
Finn bolted upright, sweat pouring over his body. His chest heaved as he sucked in oxygen. Violent panic took hold as his heart raced.
Soft, warm arms wrapped around him. “Finn?”
He pulled Charli close, inhaling her amber scent, needing her to ground him.
It was just a dream. Charli’s safe. The baby is safe.
“Shhhh,” she soothed. “It’s just a nightmare.”
He threaded his fingers through her hair and tucked her head to his chest. He should be the one protecting her. Instead, here she was holding him once again as he broke down, his mind betraying him.
