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“Let me see the journal. Maybe I can help make sense of it.”
He cringed, his eyes darting away, suddenly taking more interest in the engine grease under his fingernails. “You can’t because . . . I burned it.”
“The journal?”
He nodded.
“Why?” She shook her head. It didn’t make sense . . . unless—No. “You tried to hide it from me?”
He didn’t answer.
“Was this before or after you promised no more secrets between us?” Her voice trembled as she squeezed her hands together in front of her. Anger overflowed and her skin prickled with heat.
“After.” His brown eyes clouded over with regret.
“I see.” Her body stiffened as if turning to stone.
Finn’s hand wrapped around hers, but she pulled away. Once again, he’d broken a promise. I thought we were getting somewhere.
“Charli-baby, we’d just made up after everything, and I stumbled on that. I thought it would tear us apart if you knew I was responsible for that happening to you. I just wanted to leave the past where it belonged.” His voice was pleading.
“I don’t get why you would keep this from me. There was no way you could be responsible for that. We could have talked through it. You promised me, and then you not only kept it from me but burned all the evidence. That was a pretty clear choice.” Her voice was short and clipped.
“I know, baby. I’ve regretted it every day since.”
“Why are you telling me this now?”
He placed a hand on her knee. “Because it was wrong. I fucked up. And I want to make it right, starting with honesty.”
She shook her head. “You’ve had chance after chance.”
“I know, sweetheart.” His voice cracked, regret seeping from the edges.
“I told you that I needed honesty.”
“I swear I’ll do better.” He squeezed her knee.
“We need help. We’ve tried this on our own, Finn. Talking about it between us obviously isn’t working.”
“No, don’t say that. A month ago, we wouldn’t be here. We’ve come a long way. I’m sorry it’s been so rocky, but we can get past this.” He leaned closer, determination in his eyes.
“Why do you want to?” Her voice was almost as empty as she felt.
He frowned. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, you woke up in a hospital and had no idea who I was. No memory of making your son. Is it just because I’m pregnant? Is that why you’re staying?”
He wiped his hand over the tears she hadn’t realized were streaming down her face. “I love you, Charli, more than I’ve ever loved anyone. Maybe it started out of a sense of obligation, but what I feel for you now is real.”
She nodded. “But maybe love isn’t enough to make this marriage work.”
“What?” he gasped. “No, no. Don’t say that. I made a mistake, and I take full responsibility for it.”
“I can’t trust you, Finn!”
He flinched, eyes growing glassy. His hands dropped to his sides in defeat. “That’s why I told you. So you’d see I was telling you the truth, that I was trying to be honest.” His voice was quiet.
Why keep the damn secret in the first place? “What you hid wasn’t even a big deal. The fact that you intentionally kept it from me was.”
