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“Can’t you see I’m trying?” His tone sounded broken, much like the look that flashed in his eyes.
Her heart lurched. She loved him. She hated to see him in such despair and pain. But at some point, she had to put her needs first. “Can’t you see I’m at the end of my rope? I’ve given you everything, Finn. I asked for one thing in return—honesty.”
“But that’s why I told you this. To prove to you I was done keeping secrets.” He stood with a growl of frustration.
“You don’t get to be mad at me for this, Finn. You broke my trust. You can’t demand it back. You promised me honesty one moment and then lied to me the next. You went to see your fucking ex without even so much as a heads-up. I know you think you’re still seventeen, but god damn it, even as a kid you know how small-town people talk. You had to know I’d find out.” Her chest heaved up and down.
He let out an exasperated sound. “That was before.”
“How about the fact that you still won’t see a therapist? Or that you never tell me anything about your VA appointments or ask me to go? Your feelings are a no-fly zone just as much as your nightmares and flashbacks. So you see one little omission, and I see the last fucking straw.” She got to her feet and headed for the stairs.
“Where are you going?” he asked.
“We are not going to get anywhere like this. We’re talking in circles. I need some space.”
“Space.” He spat the word.
She didn’t bother responding, instead opting to go back upstairs. Seemed getting out of bed hadn’t been that great of an idea today after all.
Charli climbed under the covers, letting the tears fall. Reaching across the nightstand for a tissue, she bumped something.
Crash!
She stared through blurry eyes at the upside-down picture frame. Gingerly, she picked it up. Spiderwebs of cracks spread out over the picture of Finn and her on their wedding day. Was this a sign? Was their marriage as broken as her heart?
38
Finn
Finn slammed the drink on the bar top a little harder than he should have. Some of the liquid spilled over the edge. “Here ya go.” He added it to the customer’s tab and headed down the line for the next order. He nodded to the guy waiting. His voice would surely get swallowed up in the loud music.
“Hard cider.”
Finn grabbed a glass and brought it under the tap, filling it to the rim before sliding it to the patron. He peeked over his shoulder as the guy dug cash out of his pocket. Charli was at the other end, smiling and laughing with a few men as she passed them their drinks. Finn’s guts twisted and his stomach soured. She wouldn’t even look at him since he’d opened up to her earlier today. Even after he’d forced her to come downstairs and eat before their shift. I really fucked it up this time.
“Hey, buddy.” His customer held out the cash.
Finn grabbed it.
“Keep the change.”
“Thanks.” Finn plugged it into the register before putting the whole extra two dollars in the tip jar.
Charli’s throaty laugh pulled his attention back to her end once more. Fire lit in his veins. He was the one who was supposed to make that melodious sound come from her. Instead, he brought her nothing but grief it seemed. How can I fix this?
Every other time he’d screwed up she’d been quick to set him straight and then move on. This time she was shutting him out.
As the night wore on, Finn kept a close eye on her. She winced every time she bent over to grab something from the coolers. And from the way she shifted on her feet, he could tell they were bothering her. Her hand took up almost a permanent residence on her lower back. Maybe it was time she stopped working. Did she want to? They hadn’t even talked about what would happen after the baby was born. Did she want to stay home with the baby? Or did she want to go back to work?
At eleven, the crowd had begun to thin out. Closing time was only an hour away seeing as it was a weekday. Finn brought a group of girls a round of shots. When he returned, a very glassy-eyed man was leaning over the counter talking to Charli as she shook her head.
“I’m sorry, buddy. I think you’ve had enough. Can I call you a cab?” Charli asked, pulling out her phone.
“Awww, come on now. Just one more itty-bitty drink. It will be our ssssecret,” he slurred.
Finn walked over to Charli’s side. “She said you’ve had enough. Cab or Uber?”
Charli cut him a look. “I have this handled.”
