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“That’s not what I’m doing.”

“Isn’t it though?” Mason looked him dead in the eyes.

Finn stepped forward until they were chest to chest. “Listen here, motherfucker. I don’t know why you think you have me figured out or have the right to comment.”

Mason took a step forward, pushing Finn back a few inches as he stared down at him. “I know because I’ve been you, asshole. I was arrogant enough to think I didn’t need anybody’s help. Pushed my wife away and was so caught up in trying to be a man and hold it together. Fake it till you make it, right? I was so blind as to what I thought being a man, a husband, and a father meant, I didn’t see that my wife was drowning.” Mason’s usually stoic expression cracked open just a little. Tortured pain bled out, saturating the room with it. “Don’t make the same fucking mistakes I did. Get help . . . before it’s too late.”

Mason took off, leaving him alone with that revelation. Was that what he was doing? Charli said she was at the end of her rope. I could have seriously hurt her and the baby.

Finn rushed out, the urgent need to fix things hastening his steps. His chest creaked and wavered with the fear that he’d screwed things up beyond repair. He’d do it. He’d go to counseling, get better. Fear slicked through his veins like ice at the broken image of his wife’s stony expression. He’d do whatever it took to see the light shining in her eyes once again. Or he’d die trying.

39

Charli

The ache in Charli’s back was nothing compared to the vicious tearing and shredding of her heart. Finn had gone too far this time.

“Are you sure we shouldn’t go to the hospital and have you checked out?” Finn’s worried voice cut through her as he pulled into their driveway.

She clamped her eyes shut, holding the tears at bay. She needed to be strong for this next part. Rather than answering, she opened the door and headed towards the house. The heat at her back told her Finn was not far away. He reached ahead of her and unlocked the door before opening it.

Charli walked in and hung her coat. Her husband dropped to his knees to remove her shoes as he usually did. I’ll miss that. I’ll miss him. She inhaled a shaky breath.

After he’d stacked the sneakers, she waddled to the bathroom and closed the door. She exhaled a sigh of relief at the short reprieve and relieved herself. Afterwards, she washed her hands and splashed cold water on her face, delaying the inevitable for another minute. Running her hand through her hair, several strands came out. She held them over the trash. An orange prescription bottle caught her attention. She let the hair go and picked the medicine up. Finn’s medication. Why would he— She shook her head, heart sinking. This explained his more erratic mood swings.

She drew in one more fortifying inhale and opened the door. Finn was leaning against the wall in the hallway, his arms crossed over his broad chest. Regret-filled brown eyes met hers before darting to the bottle she held and then back again.

“What’s this?” she demanded.

“I don’t need it.”

She nodded, a cold realization sinking into her marrow. A numbness settled over her. “Right, I forgot. You don’t need anyone’s help.”

“That’s not true—”

“Just stop.” She sucked in a breath. Her lungs squeezed tight like she was drowning in the weight of the past and the dying hope for an impossible future. I can’t do this anymore. “I asked you for honesty.”

“I didn’t want to be a burden. You have enough to worry about—that’s why I kept it from you.”

Her laugh was cold and empty, just like she felt inside. “And how is that working out for you?”

His shoulders drooped.

“It seems like all we do is fight and argue. You keep secrets, and then we make up. Round and round we go in this vicious cycle. Details change, but everything else remains the same.”

“Baby, when that guy put his hands on you, I just snapped. I wanted to protect you like I’ve failed in the past.”

“I told you I had it under control. He didn’t hurt me, Finn. You did.” The last two words were spoken more quietly, yet they held the most power.

He winced as if they had been a physical blow.

“Part of working in a bar is knowing you’re gonna get assholes who can’t handle their liquor sometimes. That’s why we have a system. You know I was alerting Mason.”

He stared down at his feet. “I don’t know what to say.”

“I can’t keep going on pretending everything is okay. You’re not sleeping. You go from zero to one hundred when you’re upset. You’re not getting help. And now I find out you’ve stopped taking your meds. I can’t be the one to help fix you . . . As much as I want to be everything for you, I’m human, and I have my limits. Only you can fix your problems.” She trembled, mustering up the courage for what she had to say next.

“You’re right. I’m gonna—”

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