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“How long have I been here?” Emma asked, her voice hoarse.
The nurse checked her watch. “Since about midnight last night, so coming up on fifteen hours.” The guys must be so worried. Did they call Link? Panic gripped her already aching chest. Nausea rolled in her belly.
When the nurse was done, a grey-haired doctor walked in, knocking on the open door. Melanie gave him a full-on smile as she positioned the hospital bed up.
“How’s our patient?” the doctor asked.
“She just woke a few minutes ago. Vitals are good,” Melanie answered.
He turned his attention to Emma, his blue eyes assessing her. “Hello, Emma. I’m Doctor O’Malley.”
“Hi,” Emma answered feebly.
“You gave us quite the scare, you know?” He took a seat on the round stool as he crossed his arms at the side of her bed.
“Sorry.”
“Your heart stopped twice on the way to the hospital,” he said without emotion.
She gasped. She’d died?
“Was it everything you’d hoped it would be?” he asked.
She whipped her head to look at him, stunned by his question. “I-I wasn’t—that’s not . . . I didn’t want to kill myself.”
He kept his gaze on hers and remained silent.
“I just wanted the pain to stop. Sometimes I cut to help relieve it. I guess I took it too far this time,” Emma admitted, looking down, ashamed.
“I did see the healed wounds from before. You’ll be lucky to not have nerve damage this time.” He motioned to her bandaged arms.
I just wanted the pain to stop. Just needed to fight off the darkness a little longer.
“I believe you—that you didn’t intend to end your life. But what you did could have killed you if your boyfriend hadn’t gotten to you when he did.”
Boyfriend? He must mean one of the band. Oh God! Who had to find me like that? How could I have done that to them?
“Since you’re over eighteen, I cannot hold you against your will if it wasn’t intentional. But I have to do an assessment to make sure you don’t still pose a risk to yourself. Okay?” the doctor asked.
Emma nodded.
He asked her a list of questions, and she answered truthfully. A heavy weight was bearing down on her; she was still lost in a cloud of grey, still numb inside.
“I’d like you to remain here for observation for the day at least. You lost a lot of blood, and that took a toll on your heart,” O’Malley said.
Emma nodded. God, how selfish could I be? What would Link think? We just lost Dad, and now this. I’ve been so selfish.
“You know, it is extremely valid for you to want the pain to end.”
Emma looked up at the doctor.
“I don’t know your story, but I don’t blame you for wanting to end your pain,” the doctor continued.
“You don’t?” she asked, astonished.
He shook his head. “I find it extremely human of you.”
She sighed, some of the weight on her shoulders lifting.
