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Her eyes narrowed. “Mason, this changes nothing between us. You wanted to stay away from me, remember?”
Pain etched into his expression. “Baby, I fucked up. I was wrong for leaving you like that. Wrong to blame your father.”
“But you did. And now we’re here. You think this pregnancy is going to erase all the problems we’ve had? That this fixes things?” She pulled her arm out of his grasp. Her heart pounded. She wanted him more than anything, but not like this.
“That’s not . . . damn it. I was coming to find you and tell you . . .”
She crossed her arms over her chest. “What?
“That I love you, Beauty.”
She sucked in a sharp breath. His confession was bittersweet. I’ve heard that before. Pain burst in her chest at those three little words. But fear that these were just more promises with no action lacerated her heart.
He looked pleadingly towards her. “I love you and I was an asshole. I’ve been a coward, just like you said.”
“And I’m supposed to believe you? Take your word that you meant this? You’ve made me pretty promises in the past, and then you broke them and treated me like I was nothing more than a fuck.”
Lady sat up, alert with Pippa’s change of tone.
He flinched and ran a hand through his hair. His gaze flicked wildly around the room before he got to his feet and paced. “I don’t know how to fix this.” He halted in front of her, his eyes lighting up. “You can ask your dad and your sister. I told them before I came in here that I loved you, that I’d do whatever it took to prove it to you.”
“You spoke to my dad?” Nerves tied her belly into knots.
“Yeah.” His palm slid up the back of his neck. “I needed to apologize.”
“For what?”
Mason slumped into the chair beside her. “For a lot of things . . . It wasn’t his fault. The accident, I mean.”
“I know.”
His eyes widened. “You do?”
“Sebastian told me your wife was driving drunk with Aspen in the car. She ran the red light. She could have killed my father and Aspen, and you blamed my papi?”
“Pippa—” He reached out to her but she drew her arm back and shook her head.
He sighed, his shoulders drooping. “It was easier to blame him than face my role in all of it. She told me she needed help, and I didn’t take the time to listen. I thought she needed space with her friends, or to get out of the house. I had no idea she was dealing with postpartum depression after Aspen.” He blew a long breath out before continuing. “Our marriage was more like a roommate situation after Aspen was born. I’d get home and she’d take off and disappear. She’d come home drunk, and I figured she just needed to let off some steam. But then it was every day. She was never intoxicated around Aspen, so I thought . . . at least she was a good mom.”
Pippa leaned back in the bed. It was hard to hear this story, but she needed the details.
“Amanda was in the Army. One of her instructors . . . violated her in basic.” His jaw clenched tight.
Pippa’s mouth dropped open. “Oh my God.”
“He got away with it. She had PTSD from her deployments. And she never got the help she needed. Her pregnancy and delivery with Aspen must have triggered something, because she spiraled after that. She was so good at hiding things. But I was also pretty good at looking past them. I didn’t want to face that my marriage had fallen apart, nor that my wife was an alcoholic. And I blamed myself for not being there when she and Aspen needed. I put my job, my duty to the SEALs before my family, and Amanda paid with her life.”
“And you think that’s your fault?”
“I was her husband. I was the one person who should have noticed the signs and done something about it . . . but . . .” He sighed. “In the end, I know she had a disease and no one could have helped her until she was ready herself. She’s the one who chose to drink and then get in the car with our three-year-old while drunk.”
“You blamed my dad so you could relieve yourself of some of the guilt, because blaming your child’s mother felt disloyal.”
His bloodshot eyes met hers. “Yeah.”
“I’m really sorry that you all went through that, Mason.”
“Thank you.”
