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“Isn’t it, though? You were in a contract with the SEALs. You couldn’t just quit and go home to take care of your wife. Yes, maybe you could have been more supportive and found some help for her, but in the end, she made her own choices. You can’t take the blame for her issues.”
“I could’ve—“ His eyes raced back and forth over the room, alternate scenarios he’d played a million times flashing in his mind. “What if I—”
“You can’t go back. You can’t save her. But you can still save yourself.” Rebecca’s voice was calm and even, unlike his racing heart.
“She was killed because I left her vulnerable. If I had been there, she’d never have crossed paths with that man.”
“Do you think Amanda would want you to blame yourself?” Rebecca asked.
He sighed. It wasn’t about what Amanda wanted. She was dead. And it took everything in him not to look up her killer again and find out where he was. Aspen was the only thing holding him back from revenge.
“If she was sitting here next to you, what do you think she would say to you?” Rebecca pushed.
“She’d tell me to pull my head out of my ass and take care of our girl. That’s what I’m trying to do.”
“But Pippa makes you want to change things?”
He drew in a shaky breath. “It’s just so easy with her. She just . . . fits. Aspen . . . my daughter told me she loves Pippa. I don’t want to fuck up their relationship, but . . .”
“But?”
“Even if she hadn’t pulled away, I wouldn’t be able to keep my distance. She brings me . . . peace. I haven’t felt that in a while.” He scrubbed his hand over his face and leaned back on the couch.
“I’m going to shoot straight with you, Mason. You’ve always responded better to that approach.” Rebecca tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.
“Don’t hold back on me now, Doc.” He forced a chuckle.
“Your wife died over a decade ago. You’ve done a lot of growing, gained a lot of experience, and worked on yourself all that time. You are not the same young and naive man who once thought himself invincible. You are a dedicated father, and a wonderful man. You can let someone else in, and I promise you, the world will not end.”
He sighed, something loosening in his chest with her permission.
“Don’t beat yourself up for being human. You’re not the only one who will suffer.”
Were his choices affecting Aspen? Would she be better off if he started a relationship with Pippa?
“What if things don’t work out between me and Pippa? Then Aspen would be hurt.”
Rebecca leaned back in her chair. “What if they do work out? What would she gain? And is Pippa the type of person to ignore Aspen just because you and her fizzled out?”
No. Pippa had started a friendship with Aspen before he’d even met her. She didn’t seem like that type of woman. Could he do this? He wanted to, especially after all these months they’d spent together, growing closer. She fit right into his life. Not to mention the fact that the chemistry between them was nuclear.
“The question to ask yourself is, will Pippa take away from or add to your life?”
“Add.”
“Then the only thing holding you back is you.”
Mason walked out of the office and pulled out his phone, dialing Pippa.
She answered on the third ring. “Mason? Is everything okay with Aspen?”
His heart leapt. Her first concerns were for his little girl. “Yeah, she’s fine. Off to soccer camp. Listen, I wanted to know if you would have dinner with me tonight?”
She paused. “I’m still training Brynn. And I already ate.”
Disappointment flipped in his gut. “That’s fine. How about tomorrow? I really want to talk to you.”
A long exhale sounded on her end. “Okay. What time?”
“I’ll pick you up at six?”
“I’ll be ready.”
Was he? Could he really do more? Guess I’ll have to find out.
“Goodnight, Beauty.”
“Night, Mase.”
Something a lot like hope rattled in his chest at the nickname, banging on his rib cage. Maybe he could have it all this time.
