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“Lean back against me.” He wrapped his arms over hers, cradling her in his warmth, his cheek to hers.
Naked and slippery, their bodies fit together. She breathed out, relaxing into his hold.
“We’re gonna take this nice and slow. We’ll move at your pace. And we’ll figure out what works for you, and what doesn’t.” His voice rumbled in his chest as he spoke.
“But this is at no point about needing to get me off. Do you understand? This is about you.”
Her mouth dropped open. “Why can’t it be about you too?”
He hesitated. “Bringing you pleasure is satisfaction enough for me. But I don’t want to use your body for me to get off if you’re not right there with me. If I just need a physical release, I can take care of myself.” He kissed her temple.
“That’s a lot of pressure,” she confessed.
“What is?”
“I don’t know if my body is capable of an orgasm. I don’t think we should push for it. I enjoy what you do—a lot. Can’t we just be content with that?”
He was silent a moment. “Was that why you got stuck in your head? Because I brought up you coming?”
She thought back to what happened. “I think so.”
“Okay. Maybe from here on out, we don’t stress over the end goal. We enjoy experimenting with different sensations and touches. The goal will be to learn what feels good for you.”
“And you,” she argued. This couldn’t all be about her, or that would make her feel guilty.
“And me.” He kissed her cheek. “We have all the time in the world, baby. We’re in no rush, okay? Let’s just have fun with this.”
“Sounds good to me.” Actually, it sounded like more than she would’ve thought possible. But maybe it was time she raised her expectations. And perhaps this once, she’d let go and enjoy the moment without worrying what tomorrow would bring. Because she’d spent enough of her life worrying over the future while being stuck in her past. All the ugliness of her trauma had left scars and done irreparable damage. But maybe she could try and find some beauty in what was left.
