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“It sucks when the people who are supposed to love and protect you thrust their own bigotry on you, hidden under the guise of religion . . . I left everyone I’d ever known behind when I snuck out with Dani one night with nothing but the clothes on our backs and a small bag of food I’d stolen from the kitchen.”
Aaron’s eyes glistened with unexpected emotion. “I wish I knew you before, then I could’ve been there to help.”
Something slid into place inside her. It was the first time a man had truly wanted to protect her without using it as an excuse for control. She searched his handsome face, trying to memorize the way he was looking at her, as if he actually loved her. But that was impossible. No one could truly love someone so broken. It’s because he doesn’t know the worst of it.
“I never want to come between you and your family. Dani and I can go if we’re causing you problems. We aren’t even in love.”
Aaron gently cupped her jaw. “Things have always been strained and difficult with my parents, ever since Emmanuel came out to them. But you make the hurt better. And I’ll choose you every time.”
His eyes burned into hers, her world spinning until she wasn’t sure which way was up or down, east or west anymore.
She inhaled a shaky breath, gathering all her courage to speak. “Be careful. That sounds an awful lot like something a real husband would say to his real wife.”
He leaned in. “I already told you, this is genuine for me. That’s my truth.”
Tears pricked her eyes as she searched the depths of his amber orbs for some hint that he was lying. His thumb stroked her jaw, stirring up the hot arousal in her core. It was like someone had taken all the best qualities from the heroes in the romance novels she’d read and put them all into one man.
You’re not worthy.
You’re nothing but my slave.
Stupid whore.
Dirty slut.
“Sunshine?”
She blinked away the memories, focusing on his full lips instead. “Hmm?”
“I’m going to kiss you unless you tell me no.” He hesitated a moment, giving her the chance to object.
Brynn wanted his lips on hers, as if she needed her next breath. But she yearned to know this was special, just like before. “It’s just me and you here.”
The corner of his mouth turned up. “This one’s for us.” He crashed his mouth onto hers, tasting sweet and smoky with a hint of vanilla. Her tongue darted into his mouth, and he groaned. A rush of excitement and the heady feeling of power enveloped her that she was the one to illicit such a reaction from him. His hand gripped the back of her neck, the other sliding down her spine, leaving spirals of lust shooting from the contact like tiny explosions.
She clutched his shoulders, digging her fingers into his shirt, needing more for the first time in her life. She was held. She was protected. She was safe. She pressed her body against his, igniting her skin in liquid fire like she’d never experienced. His erection pressed into her belly and a new wave of intoxicating control hammered inside her.
Aaron pulled away, tipping his forehead to hers, his chest heaving, his arms trembling. “You better go to bed.”
She blinked, trying to digest his words in the smoky fog of lust that addled her brain.
He must have read the question on her expression because he backed away and said, “You’re not ready for this—and that’s okay. We move at your pace.”
Something inside her chest snapped as her heart warmed, as if it was glowing within her. She gave one quick nod and turned from the room, still trying to catch her breath. The man wanted her so much he was shaking, yet still he sent her away because he knew it was the best thing for her.
Brynn’s feelings were all jumbled in a mix of emotions. Disappointment for not being ready. Gratitude that he’d known and respected her enough to sacrifice his own pleasure. Fear that she was exactly what Paul had called her—a whore. Why did she love the gentle protective side of Aaron in real life and fantasize about him taking away her control? That went against everything she’d fought for these last few years.
I’m broken.
But some of the women in the books she read fantasized about that, too, so maybe it wasn’t just her who felt this way?
If Aaron did break into her room and try anything, despite her saying no, she would feel violated. She didn’t really want that to happen.
So why do I keep imagining it?
I need to talk to my therapist.
Brynn walked into the bathroom and turned the shower on. She waited until it was warm enough to step inside, hot water cascading down her sensitive skin. She pumped a handful of soap in her palm before rubbing it over her neck, down her breasts, lingering on her nipples. She closed her eyes, imagining it was Aaron’s hands instead of her own. She squeezed the soft flesh harder as heat gathered in her pussy. Next, she pinched her nipples. Why did pain feel so good? Her breaths came harder as she slid her middle finger between her slick folds, still manhandling one breast.
Aaron’s chest would be hot against her back, his hard cock pressing against her waist. “You know you want this, you dirty little slut. That pussy is mine and you’re going to give it to me whenever I want.”
Her eyes flew open as hot red shame filled her cheeks. “Oh, God.” She whipped her hands away from her body and covered her face as she slumped to the ground in the shower, tears pouring from her eyes.
How was she supposed to look Aaron in the eye tomorrow, knowing she imagined him like that?
And why did she want to do it again?
She rocked back and forth, grateful for the shower to muffle her quiet sobs. It didn’t matter if a piece of her was falling in love with her husband because she would never be who he needed. She clutched the silver pendant around her neck. He thought she deserved the world, which was one more reminder that he didn’t know her at all. She was fucked up beyond repair, and no man could deal with her demons. Not when she couldn’t even fight them herself.
