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33
AARON
Aaron clicked open his browser in his home office. It had been a few days since things had escalated with Brynn. I should have known she wasn’t ready.
He’d unintentionally hurt her. After she’d calmed down, and her sobs had subsided, he’d drawn a bath for her, offering to wash her body. She’d turned him away and locked herself in the bathroom for an hour. He’d left her alone, and she hadn’t even come out of her room for dinner when Dani got home from school.
Aaron typed in his search and surveyed the results that came up. How could he help Brynn? He didn’t have much experience being with a partner who’d had sexual trauma. The scars across Brynn’s back flashed in his mind. Rage heated his body, much like when he’d first seen them. He punched the keys harder than necessary on his laptop. He shook his head and ground his teeth. If I ever get my hands on that motherfucker . . .
Aaron forced a calming breath into his lungs before releasing it. Brynn didn’t need his anger; she needed his patience. He’d been scouring the internet for any advice, compiling a list of ideas to bring up to Brynn when they had the chance to talk again. He’d given her space these past few days, but not too much, as he didn’t want her to think he’d rejected her because of her trauma.
His eyes landed on a thread—victims of sexual assault sharing how kink helped them work through their past abuse. The power exchange was vital to many of their healing. Some of them wanted to replace the memory of the trauma with memories of a similar experience with someone they loved and trusted. A mind trick that worked for some.
Aaron’s stomach churned at the thought of recreating a scene where Brynn had been violated. He wasn’t sure he could do that if she asked.
He scrolled on, trying to keep an open mind, reading story after story of mostly women who found freedom in being restrained.
User TieMeUp69: It was so hard to be there in the moment and enjoy what my partner was doing because I was always stuck in my head. The pressure to orgasm and wondering if I should be doing something for him took me out of the moment and made it impossible for me to enjoy the experience.
He was given a pair of handcuffs as a gag gift one birthday and joked around that we should try them out. We did and it was like I was set free. With my hands immobile I didn’t have to think about anything else because he was in control and I couldn’t have done anything else, even if I’d wanted to. Of course, I knew he’d stop or let me out if I asked. That made me feel safe and free enough to come several times that night. After that, we invested in some light bondage equipment. He found a real love for shibari—a type of intricate rope bondage.
Aaron reread the comment twice. That was similar to what Brynn had expressed to him, wasn’t it? He’d tuck this idea away for the future. Right now, he couldn’t even think about bringing something like that up to her when he didn’t know what had triggered her. Was it the sex? She’d seemed to be enjoying herself until he’d gone a little harder. Was that it? Had he been too rough?
A knock at his office door interrupted his thoughts.
“Come in.” He shut the laptop as Dani walked in. “Hey, sweetheart. What’s up?”
“I, uh, was thinking about what we could do to surprise Mom for her birthday tomorrow.” Dani leaned her hip against the desk.
“Oh yeah?”
She had brought up her mom’s birthday over their dinner that Brynn had stayed in bed for.
“She doesn’t like a lot of attention. But whenever we do something special, it always revolves around food and stories.”
Aaron scratched the stubble on his chin. “Hm, we’ll have to see how we can use that. Speaking of celebrations, what do you guys normally do for Christmas?”
Dani shrugged. “Well, we didn’t celebrate until after we came to Shattered Cove.”
“You didn’t celebrate the holidays?”
Dani shook her head. “No, it wasn’t allowed. I actually didn’t even know what it was until we left. Mom neither, I don’t think. She was born on the compound like me.”
What the fuck kind of place was this, and why was it still allowed to exist?
“Betty-Lou and Fred invited us to share their dinner the first year. They gave me my first ever present.” Dani smiled, her eyes shiny. “We’ve spent it with them every year since. They don’t have any kids, so they said I could be their granddaughter if I wanted.”
“They sound like wonderful people.”
Dani nodded. “They are. Fred told me he’d teach me how to run the kitchen when I get a little older if I want. Said I could start washing dishes when I turn sixteen.”
“That was nice of him. Do you like cooking?”
Dani shrugged. “I don’t know. I prefer drawing, but I’m sure we could use the cash.”
Aaron’s heart tugged. If he had it his way, neither Dani nor Brynn would ever have to worry about money again. “I’m sure your mom wants you to enjoy being a kid for now.”
Dani chuckled. “So she reminds me. My therapist at Hope told me it’s probably because Mom never had that, and she knows how important it is.”
