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34
BRYNN
Brynn sipped her peppermint latte and eyed the collection of shopping bags in the chair next to her at the cute little café in the city not far from Shattered Cove.
“Do you think Aaron will like the gift you picked out?” Charli asked, picking up her own holiday-themed cardboard cup to take a drink.
Brynn shrugged, her eyes scanning the crowd around them in the small but busy café. “I hope so.”
Charli waved her hand and set her coffee down. “Men are easy. Just get them some underwear and socks, maybe some beard oil. Doesn’t matter as long as you give it to them naked.” Her friend giggled.
Brynn’s breath stuttered. She looked away, her attention stuck on a couple sitting parallel to them. The two men had their arms around each other as they sat side by side, hunched over a phone, their eyes lighting up as they laughed at whatever was on the screen.
“You okay?”
Brynn returned her gaze to Charli’s forehead rather than looking in her eyes. She forced a smile and nodded. “Yeah, of course.”
Concern lines appeared between Charli’s eyebrows. “Is everything okay with you and Aaron?”
Brynn took another sip of her latte to buy herself some time. Charli was always inviting her to do things, like shopping today for the holidays. Maybe it was time Brynn tried opening up outside of the group meetings.
“Sometimes it’s just hard with my past . . .”
Charli’s expression softened. “I hear you on that. I’m not sure you know this about me, but my home life was no picnic while growing up. My mom was part of a really strict religion. Well, more like a cult.”
Brynn’s eyes widened. “She was?”
Charli nodded, her green eyes clouding over as if remembering. “Yeah, even though I got away and I had Finn those last couple years to help me through it, that shit doesn’t leave you. It stays with you and pops up when you least expect it.”
“It does.” Brynn opened her mouth, then closed it. She couldn’t ask for more information. What if it was too personal? What if Charli asked her for information in return?
“Just ask.” Charli smiled. “I can tell you want to. Not many people can say they grew up in a cult and survived. I’m sure you have questions.”
Brynn cleared her throat. “Actually, I did too.”
Charli’s forehead furrowed before she nodded and leaned in. “Wow. I want to say I’m so sorry for you to go through that, but at the same time, it’s also comforting to know there is someone else who gets what it’s like to experience what I have.”
Brynn nodded. “It is. I guess I was just wondering if . . . how did you let it go and not let it affect your relationship with Finn?”
Charli sat back, pulling her sweater closer together before she crossed her arms. “Honestly, it took a lot of talking and communicating. It didn’t happen all at once. More like pieces that were relevant at the time. When he did or said something that reminded me of things I’d rather forget, I told him, and he made sure not to do it again. It’s been a long road for both of us. We’ve both made a lot of mistakes along the way, but we kept moving forward.”
“You guys seem so happy.”
Charli’s smile was incandescent. “We are, but it wasn’t smooth sailing as you know. But I kept fighting for me, and for our marriage, and he did the same. It wouldn’t have worked if only one of us gave our all. Trust me, I learned that from experience too.”
“I’m glad it all worked out for you two.”
Charli tucked a strand of her black hair behind her ear. “Me too. And I know you and Aaron will get through this together too. That man worships the ground you walk on.”
Brynn’s attention darted down to the cup in front of her. She wanted that to be true. She wanted to be worthy of such love. But she couldn’t be intimate with her husband. There was no way they would work long term. Aaron deserved better.
Charli’s hand rested on hers, making her look up.
“That man is a born fighter, an activist. Let him be your warrior too.”
“I’m terrified,” Brynn admitted. “If I let him all the way in, if I rely on him, he could . . .” Emotion choked her, wedging in her throat so that she couldn’t even finish her sentence.
“He could love the pieces of you that you haven’t shown anyone. And you could have someone to lean on when things get tough.” Charli’s thumb swiped the top of Brynn’s hand comfortingly. “I won’t lie and tell you love is full of rainbows and butterflies. Because real, true love, takes work. It’s raw, and vulnerable, and messy. Being loved so wholly and unconditionally means we’re also at risk of being hurt. You just have to ask yourself, is he worth it?”
