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“Well…” Tad licked his lips, searching for the right words. “He also happened to mention pushing back his start date. This wasn’t…you know?”
Sarah straightened up, frowning. “I think you’d better say it.”
“Did you bake him that bread to buy me some time?”
“No, I didnot.” She planted her hands on her hips. “I bake him that gingerbread loaf every year, and in exchange, he brings beer for the ranch hands’ Christmas party.”
Tad made a huffing sound. “Another trade.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“It means—” Tad broke off, glanced behind him, but West was nowhere in sight. He lowered his voice anyway: little pitchers had big ears. “It means, I don’t have the luxury of a family like yours, everyone helping everyone, no questions asked. It’s just me and West, and everything we get—everythinghegets, it’s all down to me.” A note of panic had crept into his voice, and he cleared his throat. “I’m saying, Ineedthat job, and I need it as soon as possible, to bring in the paycheck that’ll keepmyfamily going. I needed Wally’s job too, and that’s off till spring. And West’s got his heart set on…well, I’ll spare you the details. But I’m looking at my budget, and it’s his perfect Christmas or my next month’s rent. Vince’s deposit could’ve helped me out there, but I can’t ask for that till he’s ready to start.”
“So, tell him that. He’ll understand.”
“Tell him I’m broke, that I need help making ends meet?” Tad almost laughed. “They’re notmyfamily, Sarah. None of them are. I can’t just fall back on the Bank of Big Brother.”
She jumped, as though stung. “I don’t do that. You’re not being fair.”
Tad scowled—maybe he wasn’t, but he was on a roll. The words just kept coming, a furious torrent. “You know what’s not fair? Life, for the rest of us, outside your bubble, in the real world. You cry about how no one’s taking you seriously, but how can they when you’ve got training wheels on your life? You’ve never been on your own, never had to struggle. If something seems out of reach, you just bake some cookies and wait for it to fall into place. Life doesn’t work like that. Not for adults.”
“And you’re a model adult?” She laughed. “You’ve built your own business, done it all on your own—good for you. That’s great. But when you come home, who’s waiting? Just West, that’s who. No friends, no community, because you have none. Because you won’t let anyone in. You think that makes you an adult? Makes you a good father?”
Anger washed over him in a cold wave. “Don’t you dare tell me how to be a father.”
“Why shouldn’t I? It’s not likeyoulisten to what West’s trying to tell you. You think his perfect Christmas is something you canbuy? Is that what you think he wants—you working around the clock to buy him sometoy,when you could be at home spending Christmas with him?”
Tad bridled. “Well, what about you? You think winning the Games will makeyourwishes come true? You’ll sing a few songs and your brother’ll back off, hand the stables to you like you actually earned them?”
Sarah pressed her lips together, as though measuring her next words. When she finally spoke, her tone was blandly professional. “My brother’s a man of his word,” she said.
“He’s also a realist,” said Tad. “He’s not going to hand you the keys to the kingdom just because you built a better gingerbread house.”
“I think I’ll let him make up his own mind on that. And, speaking of acting professionally, shouldn’t you get to work?” She turned her back on him, gripped the counter hard. Tad turned to go, but Sarah wasn’t done.
“I’d like you to finish today. I’ll Venmo you the final payment.”
Tad swallowed, dry-mouthed. “Okay.”
“And the candy in the breadbox is for West’s stocking. You can take it when you go.”
“No, thanks.” Tad spat out the words like they tasted bad. “I can handle West’s Christmas. I do every year. I don’t need you fixing what was never broke.” He slammed out the back door before Sarah could respond. His stomach boiled and churned, but he didn’t doubt for a second that Sarah was wrong. If there was one thing he knew, it was how to take care of his family. He would always be there for West when it counted.
“You don’t look for help beyond your own front door.” The words came out shaky, but Dad had been right. You could count on yourself, and on your closest family. He, and he alone, would come through for West.
12
Sarah found Amy on the porch, twining bright Christmas lights around her borrowed wheelchair. She smiled at Sarah’s approach and reached for her crutches.
“We have to stay quiet,” she said, gesturing to the house. “Cassie’s sacked out on the couch, sleeping throughLittle Women. But me, I can’t wait. I’ll betwinklingmy way up the street.” She glanced down the driveway, toward Sarah’s truck. “Where’s the rest of our team? Are they not with you?”
“Yeah, about that…” Sarah looked down, embarrassed. “It’s going to be just us.”
“Aw, did West get sick?”
“No, West’s okay. Just…” She didn’t want to say it, to make it real. But Tad wasn’t coming, and neither was West. It’d be pretty obvious what happened when they didn’t show up. “It didn’t work out,” she said. “Tad and I…we broke up.”
She braced herself for Amy’s questions—what? How? Why?But Amy just hugged her, crutches poking her sides.
