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I grimaced. The way someone shifted demonstrated so much about their abilities. The stronger and more practiced you were, the easier and more graceful the shift.
Mine was not graceful.
“I won’t judge,” he added.
“Turn around.”
“Seriously?”
“I need to take my clothes off,” I explained.
“Who do you think took your clothes off the other night?” he asked.
My face felt hot. “Not the same. And you left my underwear on.”
“If we’re shifting around each other, we’re going to end up naked together.” His face turned so red I almost laughed. “Not what I meant. Turning around.”
Once he was facing away, I turned and quickly stripped my clothes. Then, I started my shift. I knew he’d watch as soon as he heard the snapping and straining of my painful transition, but it was different than him watching me undress.
My wolf was eager, but cautious. It was like coaxing a cat down from a tree.You can do this.I didn’t let myself look to where I knew Luke was watching and judging my shift, even if he said he wouldn’t. My body folded and contorted, I gritted my teeth through the pain as it changed. Wincing and hissing, I felt like I was fighting myself, even though I was telling my wolf it was okay.
Shifting had never felt natural or easy to me. Every time I saw that flawless transition from human to wolf, I was in awe. It was still like magic, even if I’d grown up with it my whole life. I’d never admit it to anyone, but I wanted that. I wanted the grace and connection with my wolf.
Finally, I was standing on all fours. My wolf shook her head, then her tail. She flexed her paws, feeling the dirt between her toes. It was odd being back in this form, especially with the intention of being here more often. Last time I’d shifted, I’d been distracted by running after Owen, trying to prove to him that I could keep up. It didn’t leave any time for questioning the process or my own thoughts.
“Not as bad as it could have been,” Luke said.
I huffed.Liar.
He smirked. “Okay, fine. It was pretty terrible. But you’re out of practice. What did you expect?”
My wolf pawed at the ground, restless and defensive. She wanted to feel the wind in her fur, scent the air all around her, and explore this new place we’d never been.
As much as I struggled in wolf form, I could always tell what the wolf side of me desired. Not that I always gave in, but I knew. I’d heard stories of others losing themselves to their wolf instinct, but my wolf was too polite for that. Go figure.
“Want to run?” Luke asked.
No.Yes.My wolf was desperate to run. And I knew if I was going to improve, I had to let her explore. I wasn’t as sure in this form as I should be by my age, and Luke was right; practice was about the only way to fix it.
My wolf nodded.
Luke grinned, then pulled his shirt over his head. I had to force my wolf to keep her tongue in her mouth.Down, girl.His fingers found the button of his jeans and I continued to stare until I remembered he’d given me privacy.
I turned, giving him some space to finish undressing. His scent caught me first, his shift was so silent, I didn’t hear him, but I could smell him. That was another thing I forgot about with these senses; in this form, everything was so heightened. And when I turned to face Luke’s wolf, I was overpowered by the masculine scent that nearly knocked me to the ground.
It was like the woods after the snow, mixed with the bright fresh smell of grass, and something clean that I couldn’t pinpoint. I wanted to roll around in that scent; I wanted to bottle it up and take it with me.
Fuck, wolf me was very, very odd. It had to be the fact that I had kept a damper on these senses for so long. Using that as my rationale, I pawed at the ground again, my way of letting Luke know I was ready.
His hazel eyes were even more intense and beautiful against the dark fur of his wolf. And he was enormous. His wolf was both muscular and lithe, a true alpha in every way. Everything about him screamed power. Yet, I couldn’t find it in me to fear him. He was a weapon in this form; I’d seen that up close, but I knew at his core, he was a protector.
With a huff, he lifted his head, indicating the direction he wanted to go. I nodded, ready to give this running thing a try.
Luke’s wolf started off slowly, picking his way over the forest floor with mindful intention. I followed, my wolf appreciating the slower pace. After a while, though, she was growing restless, annoyed by the lack of progress. And I was gaining confidence. The feel of what it was like to travel in this form came back faster than I thought it would and I reveled in every moment.
But my wolf wanted more. So I gave in and took off at a run. Luke’s wolf matched my pace, keeping up with me as we raced through the woods.
Running with Luke felt like freedom. Not the freedom I thought I had by running the bar, but true, real, untamed freedom. For the first time ever, I understood why shifting was held with such high regard.
