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He bent down close to her. Her shallow breaths leaving her nose told him she wasn’t gone yet.
“Stay with me. Remember I told you I couldn’t lose you. Don’t do this to me. To us. We both need you.” His breath hitched before uttering the words that caused this in the first place. “Because we love you.”
18
The chair was hard and uncomfortable, hurting his ass and back. He hadn’t moved in hours. He had no plans to move ever again. He’d take all the pain and discomfort as long as she lived. That’s all he needed.
“Here. You should drink something.”
Corey ignored the soda can his brother held in front of him. Drink? Next thing his brother would try would be to shove food down his throat. No, thanks. He’d throw it all back up. He felt like getting sick already. His stomach had been gurgling with dread since the moment he saw Genevieve sprawled on the pavement, unconscious, blood surrounding her like a deathly halo.
“You need to.”
He shoved the can away, not even apologizing when the liquid spilled out of the can and hit his brother’s jeans.
“Don’t do this, Corey. Please.”
“I’m not thirsty.”
“That’s not what I’m talking about and you know it.” Ricky sighed, resting his elbows on his knees. “You have the same look you did when we rushed Mom to the hospital. A look I didn’t pay attention to.”
Corey didn’t want to think about their mother. Didn’t want to relive that nightmare. The feeling of hopelessness filling him up. The heartache. The overwhelming, gutwrenching feeling when the doctor said she didn’t survive the heart attack. It had been too swift and consuming. There was nothing they could do.
That was the moment he left the hospital and numbed his pain with the only thing he could think of. And kept numbing it over and over until he almost lost himself altogether.
“You have to stay strong. For Amelie, if nothing else.”
Corey looked at Ricky. “I’ve never been strong. You know that. Especially when it’s my fault.”
Ricky’s brow cocked high, his lips in a thin line. “What the hell are you talking about? Nothing is your fault. It was an accident. A freak accident. The guy driving the car had a heart attack. Even he couldn’t have prevented it.”
“I should’ve taken the presents to the car. I shouldn’t have said—” Corey hung his head, remembering the smile on Genevieve’s face right before she turned and walked out. So sweet and full of life.
“Said what? Talk to me.” Ricky laid a light hand on his shoulder, as if afraid to touch him but needing to. “I let you have space last time. That shit ain’t happening this time. I will not be leaving you alone.”
Because the last thing Ricky wanted him to do was leave the hospital, buy some drugs, and erase the pain filling him up. And damn it, that’s exactly what he wanted to do. Help him forget why he was sitting in this hard, uncomfortable chair waiting for the inevitable bad news that was coming his way.
“We’ve never been an affectionate family.” Corey turned his head slightly to meet Ricky’s gaze. “When’s the last time we ever said…” Did he dare say that dreadful word?
“Shit. You know I love you, Corey. I know I’ve been an ass in the past, not having your back like I should’ve.”
“I know you do, Ricky. Same goes for me. But we don’t express it. We don’t say it. I’m okay with it.” His eyes trailed to the floor. “It’s better if I don’t. Bad shit always happens when I do.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Mom was so good about making me feel loved. Extra hugs and kisses. Saying I love you more than she would’ve if Dad hadn’t been such a worthless dick. I rarely said it back. I rarely told her how much she meant to me. I just soaked up her love and selfishly thought she’d always be there.” Corey sat up, prompting Ricky to drop his hand. “Do you want to know the last thing I told her? That I loved her.”
“She knew that even if you didn’t say it that often. Hell, I didn’t either. But she knew.”
“I told her I loved her, Ricky. Then she died. I told Genevieve the same thing today. For the first time ever. How much I love her.” He choked up, not able to get anything else out.
The dam inside him broke. Ricky caught him before he would’ve crumbled completely. He let it all pour out of him. The sobs tore through him, breaking him. The entire time Ricky was silent yet solid. Holding him, keeping him together when he felt like completely falling apart. This wasn’t even anything. He felt like he was on the precipice of dying himself.
The sobs slowed. The tears lessened. The ache in his chest remained.
“It’s not your fault Mom died. It’s not your fault Genevieve got hurt. Loving someone doesn’t mean you’ll lose them. She’ll pull through this and you can tell her every day how much you love her.”
“And if she doesn’t pull through?”
