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She didn’t like that assessment. Didn’t like that he seemed to think she was pretending to be fine. Or that it felt true. In that moment, she felt very much like the girl she’d been in high school, like a little kid playing dress up.
“Well, when you’re comfortable throwing off your image, I’ll ditch mine,” she said.
“I’m not challenging you. I’m not even judging you. I’m the last person in a position to pass judgment, and I think we both know that. I’m simply stating a fact. You hide a lot, Julia. I can feel it.”
She didn’t like it at all. Didn’t like that he knew just what her butt-kicking outfit was for. It made it feel less effective. And he was right, the change wasn’t any deeper than her skin, because if it was, he wouldn’t have been able to shake her confidence half so quickly.
Jerk.
“Well, next time I’m in the mood for a psychoanalysis I’ll hire a professional, okay? I don’t need my head read by a guy who has more issues than I do.”
She leaned back in her seat, crossed her arms and legs, wiggling her foot in an effort to keep from leaping up and pacing the length of the plane.
“Anyway,” she said. “How happy are you?”
“I never said I was happy.” He slid his hand over his chin. “I’m not sure I even know what happiness is. But I am winning the game, and to me that’s all that counts.”
* * *
“This is incredible.” Julia shoved her hands in her pockets and blew out a breath that clouded in front of her face and hung in the crisp, cold air for a moment before fading away on the wind.
The hotel was set on the edge of a lake, surrounded by mountains and tall evergreen trees that secluded them in a wall of green and blues.
Ferro looked around, his expression impassive.
“You don’t seem thrilled,” she said, pulling a scarf out of her bag and wrapping it around her neck.
“I don’t like the cold,” he said simply, walking toward the entrance of the hotel.
It was made from rough hewn logs, polished and stained the color of honey. A luxury cabin set out in the wilderness. She’d been completely taken with the city when she’d moved out West to California. With the heat and palm trees. With the sheer difference between Cali and her hometown. But this was something else entirely, more incredible in some ways. Because all people could hope to do was come out here and survive. No matter how beautiful the hotel was, it seemed pulled into the landscape. As if the wild had claimed it, rather than humans claiming any sort of civilization.
“Then we’ll go inside,” she said, following him through the glass doors that slid open and admitted them into the lobby. “Nice,” she said, looking around at the sleek, wood interior. “Big fish statue.” She pointed to the iron representation of a sockeye salmon. “That’s pretty cool. And hey, it’s for sale. I could buy it and stick it in my house.” She was rambling and she wasn’t sure why. Maybe because she was getting used to wicked Ferro and stoic Ferro was throwing her off a little bit.
“I would like to see that, Julia,” he said. “A salmon in your beachfront mansion.”
“Hey, it’s…sort of to theme.”
“And sort of not.”
She smiled and tried to draw a smile out of him. She managed, but there was something terribly false about it. And she didn’t know if it was because this one was false, where all the others had been real. Or if she was just seeing something different in his expression after their conversation on the plane. After his assertion that he didn’t know what happiness was.
This was exactly what she was afraid of. That more time with Ferro would make him human. Would make her get him. Might make her care.
No way. Ferro was a jerk. She could not, would not, care about him.
“Just a second and I’ll check in,” she said.
Ferro looked around the lobby and waited for the sophisticated heating system to take effect. He didn’t know why he’d let the temperature bother him. It wasn’t like he hadn’t experienced cold in the past few years, but truth be told, he did go out of his way to avoid it.
And ever since they’d gotten off the plane he’d been battling with the thought of what it would have been like to be stuck outside here. To have to suffer through a night dealing with the elements.
