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She released my shoulders and used one hand to lift my chin so I had no choice but to meet her gaze. “You know that’s not possible, but the fact you’re even asking is worrying. I had the feeling you were doing better, maybe coming close to accepting those three fine dragons as your mates.”
Now, I hadn’t told her that…but she’d always been intuitive where I was concerned. So I didn’t argue. “I did—I was. I mean, can we go somewhere and talk? I miss you.” My lower lip trembled, my eyes welling up. “Just because I live up here now, does that mean we can’t spend time together?”
“Of course not!” She turned back the way she’d come, reaching for my hand and leading me along with her. “Let’s go to the kitchens and find you something to eat. You are way too thin for my liking. Are those mates of yours starving you?”
“No, of course not.” Just in raw fish alone, I’d eaten my weight or what felt like it. “But I could use a snack.” We ambled side by side through the hallways and down various staircases until we came to the narrowest backstairs that led to the kitchens. There were other ways, but from the living quarters of the higher-ups, this was the most direct route.
As soon as we approached, the scent of apples and cinnamon and buttery pastry tickled my nose. My mouth watered. “Turnovers,” I said. “You sure picked the perfect time to come here unless…did you know what they were making?”
Hilda shrugged. “I might have heard a rumor. If we’re fast, we can use your new social level to get a few and maybe take them out on one of the ledges where we can talk in private?”
“That would be perfect. You always know when I need you.”
Her smile was broad, but her eyes watered a little. “It’s not the same as when you were right in the house with me every night, but I’m glad to know you still have a use for your old friend.”
Use? “Hilda, I don’t want to use you…”
She laughed then. “If the girl I raised like my own can’t, then who can? It’s not a negative thing, child. I know if I need you, I can come as well, unless you’re too high and mighty now?”
“Never!” I gasped. “Anything I have is yours, you only need to let me know.”
She waved off my offer. “I have all I need.” She wrapped four big turnovers in a cloth and headed out the other side, ignoring the raised eyebrow cast her way by one of the cooks. “I think we’ll find some sun on the west side now.”
She was right, and the narrow ledge one level up from the kitchens was vacant as well. We propped our backs on the warm stone and bit into the flaky pastry. Spiced juices ran down my chin, but I couldn’t be too upset about it. Funny how you could be so upset one minute and then the simplest pleasures helped. Maybe I didn’t even need to have a conversation about things at all. Sunshine and apples and cinnamon could fix just about anything.
Unfortunately, my foster mother wasn’t going to let it drop, and as I started on the second pastry, she said, “Okay, child, what’s going on up in that big fancy suite? I thought you were doing a little better with the three kings.”
I giggled at her choice of words. “That’s a funny way to put it, but it’s kind of how it feels. They are so different from me, you know? They seem so smart and elegant; they get so focused on things I never even think about.”
“Like what?”
I considered and decided to go with the most recent event. “Well, okay. Like Soren and his books. His parents always gave them to him…” I told her what I’d learned about his childhood and how he was so often consumed by his library. “And then he gave me that book, or tried to…”
“And you rejected it out of hand.” She nodded. “Yes, that might have hurt him, but consider this. Not all lessers read, right?”
“True.”
“And did he have any reason to think you could?” She tilted her head to the side, studying me.
“I-I don’t know. But I don’t think he was insulting me.”
“No?” She continued to take me in. “Then what do you think he was doing?”
“Giving me the same kind of gift his parents gave him.” My shoulders sank. “The only way they seem to have shown their love.”
“Mmm.” She spoke around a bit of her second turnover then swallowed before going on. “But then, how were you to have known that?”
“See?” I burst out. “It’s like we speak a whole other language. Like we don’t begin to understand one another. How can we be mates if we don’t change that?”
Hilda licked the juices off her fingers then held up a hand. “Help me up, child. I have work to do.”
“But I don’t have any answers!” I did however stand and assist her to her feet. “I’m still in a mess.”
“Maybe.” She tapped a finger on her chin. “Okay, tell me one thing you can do that might be a step forward in your mating with these three worthies.”
Gods…what could I… Then an idea came into my muddled mind. “I could take them turnovers. Just as a friendly gesture, you know.”
“Very thoughtful.” She drew me in for a hug before turning me in the direction of the caves. “Go do that, then. From what I can tell, they give you a lot, even besides what you rejected in the betrothal gifts. It would be good for you to give them a little something sweet.”
